The Ground Begins to Soften, Easter 2020

 
The Ground Begins To Soften Easter 2020
 

The Ground Begins to Soften, Easter 2020

 ( Several years ago, I wrote a column similar to this for Easter. What I wrote seems particularly relevant for the unprecedented circumstances we now find ourselves in, and so I have updated it for this year.)

   For those of us who celebrate Easter in the northern hemisphere, we are blessed to be surrounded by abundant symbols of resurrection and rebirth, including the new buds on the trees, the return of birds that have been south for the winter, the lengthening of the days, and the overall warming temperatures. For me, though, there is one sign in nature that is the most meaningful indicator of new life this time of year, one that is probably easy to overlook…the ground begins to soften.

   First, the snow melts, and then gradually, the ground that has been covered and frozen all winter begins to thaw and soften. One thing I love about the ground starting to soften is that I am able to move my runs off the concrete sidewalks and onto the soft earth, which provides a welcome cushion for my aging joints. The softening ground is moist this time of year, and I love the squishing sound that my shoes make with every step I take. The softer ground also means those with green thumbs are getting back to digging in the earth of their gardens. The softer earth gives rise to so many beautiful stirrings of new life.

  This year, the celebration of Easter (as well as Passover) occurs in the midst of a pandemic. Communal celebrations will not happen, and friends and extended families will make the courageous choice not to gather. It is a time of significant vulnerability and loss for all of us. And as with all experiences of vulnerability and loss, we have two choices. We can choose to harden our hearts, like the hardened earth of winter, as a way to try and protect ourselves. Or we can choose to soften our hearts amid the vulnerability and fragility we are experiencing, becoming like the soft earth of spring. Choosing the latter makes it possible for the seeds of Easter hope to take root more easily and deeply.

  As we celebrate Easter this weekend, we are not just celebrating something that happened almost 2000 years ago; we are also celebrating the truth that God continues to make things new, that God continues to bring life out of loss, and that new life will follow even this pandemic. The image of the ground beginning to soften is a vivid metaphor reminding us of what it can feel like when God is beginning to do a new thing in our lives.

  I know this feeling in my own life, and I see it in my work as a minister and a therapist as well. People usually come to see me because life has become hard for them, literally. They come in with hearts, minds, souls, and even bodies that have become hardened and rigid. They come alone, or they come with their loved one, or they bring their whole family because everyone has become hardened to each other. This hardness is usually the result of some frozen sadness or hurt, or unresolved conflict or grief, and the hardness has built up over a long time.

   Why have they come? Because deep down, they don't want to be hard-hearted, hard-minded, or hard-spirited, toward themselves or toward the people they love most. Deep down, a small, still voice longs for something different. And because they are willing to listen to this longing, slowly, imperceptibly at first, a miracle begins to happen. The ground begins to soften. 

The softening heart/mind/soul, just like the softening earth, soon gives rise to all kinds of miraculous new life. People forgive each other, and they forgive themselves. People who haven't done so for a long time touch and hug again. There is laughter where once there was criticism and hurt. There is joy where there once was shame and guilt. Grief gradually loosens its grip. There is freedom where there once was bondage. There is life where there once was death. Resurrection happens. 

There is always a risk in the choice to soften our hearts and allow the seeds of Easter hope to take root, but it is always a risk worth taking.

  To all who celebrate this holiday, we at Living Compass wish you a Happy Easter. May all of our hearts and souls be softened today by the presence of the One who continues to call forth new life in the midst of loss.


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Everyone Is Fighting a Hard Battle

 
Everyone is fighting a hard battle
 

Everyone Is Fighting a Hard Battle

  I am finding that the ongoing experience of the pandemic is similar to having a large application open on my computer’s desktop. It is always there, running in the background. And even if I’m not currently thinking about the pandemic, it is still there, zapping energy from all the other applications I am trying to operate. 

 This metaphor helps me to understand why so many of us are all feeling a bit “off” right now. We may turn the news off for a while and try not to think about what is happening, but there is no way to “force quit” what’s going on in the world. 

 I share this in hopes that it can give us all permission to be a little more patient and gentle with ourselves and everyone whom we encounter. The mental and spiritual health challenges are mounting for all of us. How could it be otherwise?

 In early February, I wrote a column about mindful self-compassion (you can find it at https://www.livingcompass.org/wwow/mindful-self-compassion.) I find it to be a helpful practice for my own emotional and spiritual well-being right now. If you are looking for another habit to add to your now regular habit of handwashing, I highly recommend it.  

 Finally, I am also finding that it really helps to give myself permission not to be my ordinarily productive self. There is nothing ordinary about this time, and we are wise to not hold ourselves to standards that simply don’t apply right now. Until the pandemic subsides, all of the other applications in our lives (and in the lives of those we love) will run a little more slowly and a little less efficiently.  

 So remember to be kind, for everyone you meet, including yourself, is fighting a hard battle.


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The Hidden Curriculum

 
The Hidden Curriculum
 

The Hidden Curriculum

  

  I am married to a former teacher. I have recently been thinking about the idea of the "hidden curriculum," a concept I learned from her quite a few years ago. This concept refers to lessons and values that students learn, sometimes unintended because they are not directly part of the subject being taught in the curriculum. This could include planning ahead, getting along with others, the importance of honesty, and other important lessons related to values and character.

  I thought about the idea of the hidden curriculum in light of how all of us, adults and children, are currently being homeschooled in the midst of the current pandemic. I began to reflect on what unintended lessons I am learning in the midst of my own at home learning experience.

  I'm guessing you are learning a few lessons of your own, and thus I will invite you near the end of this column to share yours on our Living Compass Facebook page.

Here is what I am learning at this moment, in no particular order.  

1. We are all more interdependent and interconnected than I ever realized. I am reminded of a quote I heard a few years ago, "When 'I' is replaced with "We" Illness becomes Wellness. It will require a worldwide collective "we" to get to the other side of this

2. My life is enriched because I am listening to more music while at home, thanks, in large part, to the many artists who are sharing live performances online right now. Music (for me) is the language of the soul. Case in point—check out one of Yo Yo Ma's current online offerings.

3. The word essential has taken on new meaning for me. As in nurses, grocery store employees, skilled-care facility workers, teachers, mental health providers, food producers, childcare workers, pharmacy workers, truck drivers, first responders, doctors, farmers, and all who work in health care.  

4. Heartfelt expressions of love and gratitude can sometimes make me cry. I'm referring to the video that shows hundreds of people who come out on their high-rise balconies in Atlanta to applaud the healthcare workers at a nearby hospital during each evening's shift change.

5. I now realize I have taken the opportunity to give and receive affection for granted. I so very much miss being able to hug my grandchildren and so many other people I love. 

6. A long walk or a good run does wonders for my mood. Even more so when said walk or run is through the woods or in a park.  

7. Ditto for the wonders of a good night's sleep.

8. Ten to twenty minutes of some form of spiritual practice each morning (mindfulness, centering prayer, spiritual reading) helps me to be less anxious throughout the day.

9. Brené Brown often has just the words that I need to hear. This week she wrote, "The pandemic experience is a massive experiment in collective vulnerability. We can be our worst selves when we're afraid, or our very best, bravest selves. In the context of fear and vulnerability, there is often very little in between because when we are uncertain and afraid our default is self-protection. We don't need to be scary when we are scared. Let's choose awkward, brave, and kind. And let's choose each other."  

10. Parents are some of the hardest working and often most under-appreciated people I know. They need our encouragement and support, now more than ever.  

11. Grief expresses itself in a myriad of ways, including anger, fighting, illness, hopelessness, distancing, shutting down, numbing out, and exhaustion. And the amount of grief and loss that so many are experiencing right now is getting very real. Let's give ourselves and others the space needed to feel and express loss.

12. The human spirit is resilient and beautiful in ways that continually inspire me.

13. Healing cannot be rushed, and it always takes longer, sometimes way longer than I wish it would.

  When I look back over my life, I see that the times that I experienced the most profound spiritual growth were often during and after times of loss and upheaval. For this reason, I know this time contains a hidden curriculum that will forever influence the way I live my life. A wise friend of mine (thank you, Julia Gray) shared a quote this week that sums this up, "In a rush to return to normal, may we use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to."

  We are all students and teachers in this collective, unfolding journey. I invite you to share what you are learning by posting your wisdom on our Living Compass Facebook page, which you can find HERE

  What's been the hidden curriculum for you during this pandemic, and what have you learned so far?


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Liminal Time

 
Liminal Time
 

Liminal Time

   Pandemic is now a new word that many of us have added to our daily vocabulary. I don't believe I had ever really used the term until recently. 

   Please allow me to introduce what is perhaps another new word that you may find helpful in these unprecedented times. The word is liminal. In case you were not aware, we are now living in liminal time. The word liminal comes from the Latin word limens, which means "limit or threshold." Author and theologian Richard Rohr defines liminal time in this way: "It is when you have left, or are about to leave, the tried and true, but have not yet been able to replace it with anything else. It is when you are between your old comfort zone and any possible new answer. If you are not trained in how to hold anxiety, how to live with ambiguity, how to entrust and wait, you will run...anything to flee this terrible cloud of unknowing." He goes on to say that ancient cultures referred to liminal space as "crazy time," because it is like nothing we have ever experienced before. Think of it as that space, that time, when a flying acrobat has let go of one swinging trapeze and is in mid-air, anxiously seeking the grasp of another who is swinging their way. 

   Each of us has most likely experienced a liminal time at some point in our lives. Liminal times can come into our lives as planned or unplanned. These are times when life is forever different - when life is divided between before and after the event. They include, but are certainly not limited to, the following: the loss of a loved one, the birth of a child, the loss of a job, retirement, moving, a health diagnosis/crisis, the beginning or end of a significant relationship, graduations, and military service. 

   What is unique about the current pandemic is that it is a liminal time that literally the entire world is going through together, all at the same time. Of course, some individuals are much more affected by Covid-19 than others, but everyone is affected in some way. I can not think of a time in my life where billions of people all around the globe have faced the same challenge at the same time.

   Research on resilience has shown that there are two essential factors that people need when they find themselves living in a liminal time: spirituality and community. These two factors will provide direction and support in the midst of this vulnerable, "crazy" time. 

   Spirituality is what defines "true north" for us all the time, but especially in times of change. It is what defines and grounds our core values and beliefs, and for many, but not all, is connected to religious faith. Spirituality is what inspires people to risk their own health at a time like this, to show up and support others—whether as health care workers, first responders, or grocery store workers. Spirituality is what helps people to choose love over fear. Spirituality is what gives us a bedrock of meaning, purpose, and hope, when so much around us is changing.  

   Community is our network of friends and family, the people we can turn to when we need support. This is a challenge in the face of our need to "socially distance" ourselves for the greater good. But because the need to connect is so strong and so universal, we have seen the creative ways people are finding to connect in the midst of this pandemic. People singing on their balconies at night in Italy, faith communities offering online prayer services, neighbors gathering to greet one another across their streets, people volunteering to grocery shop for their at-risk neighbors, musicians offering free online concerts, and grandparents, aunts, and uncles reading bedtime stories and playing games with young family members via Zoom. I'm sure there are other stories each of you could add of the creative ways that people are finding to be both separated and connected at the same time. The resilience of the human spirit is formidable.

   I close with one simple, anonymous act of kindness from a member of my community, one that my wife and I were blessed by today. Even though it was a rainy day, my wife and I went out for a long walk late this afternoon. Part of our walk took us to a paved bike trail near our home. Along the side of the bike trail, we noticed a small green dinosaur-like figure with a sign taped on its front. As we got closer, we could see that the sign, created by someone who we will never know, said simply, "Breathe," along with a heart, the universal symbol for love. (See image below).

   That sign expresses my hope and prayer right now for all of us. May we all find a way to breathe in (and out) a little more love at this time. 

The light of love shines in this liminal time of darkness, and the darkness will not overcome it.  


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Standing Together

 
Standing Together
 

Standing Together

  Can you guess what the following locations from around the world have in common?

Santa Monica, CA

New Orleans, Louisiana 

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Zuni, New Mexico 

Toulouse, France

Rio De Janeiro, Brazil

Moscow, Russia

Caracas, Venezuela

The Congo

Guguletu, South Africa

Barcelona, Spain

Umlazi, South Africa

Pisa, Italy

Mamelodi, South Africa 

Given what’s going on in the world, you may have guessed that they are locations where people have tested positive for COVID-19. In fact, they are all places from which musicians around the world came together virtually to make an inspiring recording of the 1961 classic song, “Stand By Me.” 

We all have practices and people we turn to that give us hope and comfort in anxious times. Prayer, friends, family, spending time in nature, and music come to mind. All of these are important to me, and this song, for me, is like a prayer, so I turn to it often. I watch it whenever I feel discouraged about what’s happening in the world. Apparently, I am not alone, as there have been more than 142 million views of this video. As we all face an unprecedented worldwide crisis, a song featuring musicians from around the world seems most fitting.  

In the midst of our worry, let’s stand with and support the people from every corner of the world who are courageously fighting COVID-19 either as patients, healthcare workers, or in any other capacity. My prayer is that we may find comfort and strength in standing together in this time of anxiety. 

Here is the link to this music video I love to watch. Watching our brothers and sisters around the world singing this hopeful song could be the best five minutes of your day, and may remind you of someone you know who could use a little “standing by” right now.  

You can find the video by clicking HERE>


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