Making Peace
Again this week I have been immersed in deep and inspiring conversations about peace, as Living Compass continues to host a Facebook discussion group of almost eight hundred people who are reading our Living Compass Advent booklet entitled, “Practicing Peace with All Your Heart, Soul, Strength, and Mind.” The wisdom in this group is uplifting, and I am clearly receiving from the group as much as I am giving.
The group is private, but anyone can ask to join. Once in the group, what people share is confidential. So while I can’t share anything specifically that has been written, I can share that a common theme, which I am sure is not a surprise to anyone, is one of people struggling to make peace with a current stressful situation or relationship in their life.
The holidays often serve as a magnifying glass for whatever challenges we are currently facing. It’s also a time when we become acutely aware of any changes or losses that have occurred in our lives since last year. And so it is not unusual during the holidays to find ourselves saying or feeling something like, “This year, I am trying to make peace with ……... “
The phrase “make peace with” is so perfectly descriptive because peace is not just something that happens on its own, any more than getting in shape just happens. You have to make a decision, and then take steps to make peace with whatever you are facing that is challenging in your life.
Each person’s path toward making peace will be unique, but I have found that there are specific steps that help. Here, in no particular order, are ones that I find to be helpful in my own life.
*Focus on simply accepting “what is” at this present time.
I have always loved the quote attributed to a 113-year-old man who was asked why he had lived such a long life. He replied, “When it rains, I let it.” He surely knew that fighting or resisting “what is” is a sure way to prevent peace because what we resist will persist.
*Practice gratitude.
Most of us are aware of some feelings of loss or emptiness around the holidays. We don’t want to ignore or minimize these feelings, and at the same time we don’t want to overlook what we have to be grateful for in your lives. What we focus on tends to grow.
*Get spiritual.
All spiritual traditions provide teachings and inspiration for making peace. Turning to a higher power can help us let go of hurt or conflict and make peace with our lives as they are.
*Learn to let go.
As Brené Brown says, "You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one." Of course, it's not an either-or choice. We will always want to reread and cherish previous chapters of our lives, while at the same time, we will want to be open to creating new ones. If we only reread and revisit our past, then we will have trouble making peace with our present and our future.
These are my thoughts. What else would you add as crucial steps to making peace? If you are so inclined, please visit our Facebook page and share your responses. Your idea might be just what someone else needs to hear fright now.
Whatever this holiday season holds for you this year, I pray that you may find your own path to making peace with it.
And if you want to receive our daily Advent email reflection about Practicing Peace, you can sign up for them HERE.
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