The Power of Yet
Sometimes a small, three-letter word can make all the difference. To understand what we mean, note the difference between these two sentences.
“I am discouraged because I don’t know how to figure this out.”
“I am discouraged because I don’t know how to figure this out yet.”
The only difference is the word “yet.” Adding this critical word opens up possibility and hope. The first sentence states a fact, a statement that seems to be the end of the story, rather than the mid-point of a story that is still being written.
The this in the two sentences will be different for each of us. Here are the ones we typically hear in our work as marriage and family therapists and as wellness coaches.
“I feel a distance in my relationship with my friend/spouse/child/parent/sibling/colleague and don’t know what to do to change this.”
“I don’t know how to change my unhealthy drinking patterns.”
“I am burned out in my work, and I can’t figure out a way to make a change.”
“My grief is overwhelming, and I have no idea how to create the next chapter in my life.”
“My child is now in middle school and I have no idea how to connect with them at this stage.”
Reread each of these sentences now and add the word yet to the end. Adding this small, but powerful word helps people move, in the words of author and researcher Carol Dweck, from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
Each challenge mentioned above is significant, and is not quickly resolved by simply adding the word yet. And yet (so to speak!), without that vital word, we will lack the mindset needed to keep trying until we figure things out, as well as being open to asking for help from others.
Are you stuck right now in a loop of thinking that a particular concern in your life cannot change? The first step to getting unstuck might be to shift to a “yet mindset,” one that creates an opening for growth and change. And while you are at it, you might consider who you might reach out to help you with this shift.
Shifting your perspective on a challenge you are facing and reaching out to others for support can be difficult. Perhaps, though, this has been hard for you to do. Or, in the spirit of today’s column, …..it may be simply something you haven’t been able to do ……yet!
**If you have children that you want to talk with about the power of yet, or you are a child at heart, you will love this Sesame Street video about the power of yet featuring Janelle Monae. Click HERE to watch.
Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. So in this week’s episode, they talk more about the power of yet. You listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app, and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.
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