“Knowing When to Push the Pause Button”
The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative that serves schools, counseling centers, nonprofits, and other community wellness organizations. Each week Holly Hughes Stoner and Scott Stoner co- write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site. There is also a Wellness Compass podcast at www.wellnesscompass.org/podcast.
One of our grandsons recently taught us a helpful mindfulness technique he learned in school called “take five.” You hold one hand up with your fingers stretched out. With the other hand, beginning where your thumb and wrist adjoin, slowly move your index finger up and down each finger, taking a deep breath as you go up and then exhaling as you move downward, eventually tracing each finger. This is what his teacher taught the students to do when they feel stressed. This is also a great way for all of us to help reset ourselves when feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
Knowing when to pause and reset is a core component of emotional, spiritual, physical, and relational wellbeing, and that is why we are focusing on it in this third column in our series on foundational practices for enhancing our overall wellness.
In the quote at the top of the column, Lori Deschene provides a helpful list of when pausing is vital. The list is a good place to start, and it can also help us think of a few other times when we may need to pause in our daily lives.
Pause to listen more before being quick to speak.
Pause before sending emotionally charged emails or other messages.
Pause to examine our own biases.
Pause before speaking unkindly or gossiping about someone.
Pause when feeling impatient.
Pause when feeling stressed.
Pause when becoming overwhelmed.
Pause before being quick to defend yourself.
Pause before posting heated comments on social media.
Pause when you find yourself feeling emotionally flooded.
Pause when you are exhausted.
Pause when you disagree with another.
And, just as important, pause to observe the positive around you, things that pausing allows us to see.
You undoubtedly have specific examples from your life to add to this list. Maybe this would be a good time to, well….pause, and think about what they are.
However we “take five” or “practice the pause,” knowing when to do so will enhance our wellbeing and the wellbeing of those with whom we are connected.
We invite you to listen to this week's podcast episode if you are interested in a few of our thoughts about this piece. It is easy to listen to the ten-minute episode. To find it—click HERE, and you will be taken to our Wellness Compass website, where you simply need to push the "play" button to listen to the audio.
Authors: Holly Hughes Stoner, LMFT, and Scott Stoner, LMFT
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In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast
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