Resilience and Relationships
This week I had the honor to present a live workshop on resilience via Zoom for an organization in New Hampshire. One of the unexpected blessings of this pandemic has been the many opportunities we have had to virtually visit and present wellness programs to organizations across the country and around the world. Just a few months ago, my wife, Holly Hughes Stoner, who shares the Samaritan Family Wellness Foundation's work with me, had the chance to offer a live presentation for a non-profit organization that uses our teen wellness materials in Nairobi, Kenya. We both love traveling the world to support others who are enhancing wellness in their local communities, all without leaving our home office.
My resilience presentation's main focus this week was the vital role our relationships play in our capacity to be resilient, particularly in the midst of challenging times. The pandemic has made us all painfully aware of how essential relationships are to our mental health and overall well-being. At a time when we have all been negatively affected by the pandemic, many of us have been most challenged by the need for support from friends and loved ones and the difficulty in being able to give and receive that relational support.
A mistaken idea about resilience is that it is primarily an individual strength or characteristic that a person either possesses or does not possess. My resilience talk took a different perspective and focused on how resilience is strongly rooted in relationships. As the quote above says, “When ‘i’ is replaced with “we,” illness becomes wellness.
Throughout this past year, I have repeatedly heard people talking about things that they will never again take for granted again. What I hear mentioned most often are relationships. In addition, people talk about missing activities usually done with others (eating out, concerts, traveling, movies, etc.). There is no doubt that our relational bonds have been challenged this past year.
As we begin to feel more hopeful that we can gradually start seeing friends and family again, it seems like an ideal time to be intentional about prioritizing the care and well-being of our significant relationships. May it be so that we never again take our friends and family for granted.
I often write about the wisdom that, “Whatever we pay attention to is what will grow.” I can’t think of a better time to pay more attention to and recommit to nurturing, and if necessary, repairing, our connections with others.
To put this into practice, I invite you to think about one specific relationship in your life that you would like to pay more attention to.
What might you do to nurture that relationship right now?
How might doing so be of mutual benefit for both of you?
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