The Life-Light Blazed out of the Darkness

The Life-Light Blazed out of the Darkness

          Singing "Silent Night" by candlelight at the late service on Christmas Eve touches my soul deeply and moves me to tears every year. As the lights are turned off in the church, everyone gets their candles ready. A handful of candles are lit in the front of the darkened church, and it is a magnificent sight to watch the light as it is passed from one person to the next, until each person's candle is lit. Only then do we unite our voices in singing the beloved hymn "Silent Night." Sometimes the organ or piano stops entirely, and those gathered sing a verse without accompaniment, creating a true choir of angels.  

 In the first chapter of the Gospel of John, the birth of Jesus is referred to in this way, and here I quote a modern translation known as The Message, "What came into existence was Life, and the Life was Light to live by. The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn't put it out." Seeing two hundred candles shining their light in the midst of a dark church on Christmas Eve is a testament to the power of the Light of Love to cast out the darkness in our world.  

  In the northern hemisphere, it will soon be the darkest day of the year. Shortly after this darkest day, Jews will begin the celebration of Hanukkah, and a few days after that, Christians will celebrate Christmas. It is worth noting that, central to the celebrations of both Hanukkah and Christmas is a witness to the power of a light that cannot be extinguished.  

  The holidays are a hard time of year for many. Darkness can be experienced in many forms—grief, loss, anxiety, financial strain, loneliness, and the feeling that we are only the ones who are not having a joyous holiday celebration this year. Darkness is real and needs to be acknowledged, for it is in the midst of that darkness that the true meaning of Christmas becomes real, the Light of Love is always stronger than the power of darkness.  

  Occasionally during the singing of "Silent Night," a draft may cause one's candle to go out. Not to worry, though, because the person next to them will patiently and without question simply relight their candle. This provides a beautiful metaphor for those of us who will soon be celebrating Christmas, inviting us to think of people whose candle could use some support as they rekindle their lives, ones we could reach out to, patiently and without question, this year.

  We at Living Compass wish our Jewish readers a Happy Hanukkah, and our Christian readers a Merry Christmas. May the Light of Love be rekindled for you and those you love, and shine for all the whole year long. 

**I will be taking time off next week for the holidays and so this column will return in two weeks.  

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Making Peace

Making Peace

       Again this week I have been immersed in deep and inspiring conversations about peace, as Living Compass continues to host a Facebook discussion group of almost eight hundred people who are reading our Living Compass Advent booklet entitled, “Practicing Peace with All Your Heart, Soul, Strength, and Mind.” The wisdom in this group is uplifting, and I am clearly receiving from the group as much as I am giving.

The group is private, but anyone can ask to join. Once in the group, what people share is confidential. So while I can’t share anything specifically that has been written, I can share that a common theme, which I am sure is not a surprise to anyone, is one of people struggling to make peace with a current stressful situation or relationship in their life.

The holidays often serve as a magnifying glass for whatever challenges we are currently facing. It’s also a time when we become acutely aware of any changes or losses that have occurred in our lives since last year. And so it is not unusual during the holidays to find ourselves saying or feeling something like, “This year, I am trying to make peace with ……... “

The phrase “make peace with” is so perfectly descriptive because peace is not just something that happens on its own, any more than getting in shape just happens. You have to make a decision, and then take steps to make peace with whatever you are facing that is challenging in your life.

Each person’s path toward making peace will be unique, but I have found that there are specific steps that help. Here, in no particular order, are ones that I find to be helpful in my own life.

*Focus on simply accepting “what is” at this present time.

I have always loved the quote attributed to a 113-year-old man who was asked why he had lived such a long life. He replied, “When it rains, I let it.” He surely knew that fighting or resisting “what is” is a sure way to prevent peace because what we resist will persist.

*Practice gratitude.

Most of us are aware of some feelings of loss or emptiness around the holidays. We don’t want to ignore or minimize these feelings, and at the same time we don’t want to overlook what we have to be grateful for in your lives. What we focus on tends to grow.

*Get spiritual.

All spiritual traditions provide teachings and inspiration for making peace. Turning to a higher power can help us let go of hurt or conflict and make peace with our lives as they are.

*Learn to let go.

As Brené Brown says, "You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one." Of course, it's not an either-or choice. We will always want to reread and cherish previous chapters of our lives, while at the same time, we will want to be open to creating new ones. If we only reread and revisit our past, then we will have trouble making peace with our present and our future.

These are my thoughts. What else would you add as crucial steps to making peace? If you are so inclined, please visit our Facebook page and share your responses. Your idea might be just what someone else needs to hear fright now.

Whatever this holiday season holds for you this year, I pray that you may find your own path to making peace with it.

And if you want to receive our daily Advent email reflection about Practicing Peace, you can sign up for them HERE.

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Did I Offer Peace Today?

Did I Offer Peace Today?

         Today is St. Nicholas Day, a day much loved by children and adults alike. The tradition, one that started in northern Europe and has spread around the world, is that children place their little shoes out in their home the night before St. Nick's, and then awaken to find them filled with chocolate coins or other treats in the morning. It is from this practice that our modern tradition of Christmas stockings developed. 

  Much of what makes the traditions associated with St. Nicholas Day so meaningful is that they are, in fact, based on a real person. Nicholas was a fourth-century Christian saint and also the Greek Bishop of Myra (now in modern-day Turkey). Many stories and legends are told of his life, but the one that is probably most well known is his habit of giving secret gifts to others in need. It is his habit of secret gift-giving that forms the basis for our modern-day celebration of both St. Nick and Santa Claus.

  The title of our Living Compass Advent booklet this year is "Practicing Peace with All Your Heart, Soul, Strength, and Mind." In addition to the reflections being offered in booklet form, we also make them available through daily emails and as an ebook. And this year Living Compass is hosting a very active Facebook group where we have almost seven hundred people from all around the world, sharing their thoughts on the reflections, as well as sharing their ideas on what it means to practice peace in their lives. I am enriched and inspired daily by their insights and lived experiences. (you can learn more at https://www.livingcompass.org/advent-signup

 As I reflect on what it means to practice peace in my life, I find myself thinking in a new way of St. Nicholas and his practice of secret gift-giving. I started thinking that while the giving of chocolate coins and other material gifts this time of year can be a joyous experience, there are multiple other beautiful gifts we give to one another as well, gifts that are not material but spiritual.  A gift such as peace, for example.

  So a few days ago, I thought of a few people in my life with whom I sometimes feel some conflict or stress. They may not sense my tension, but I know it is there, and left unchecked it is something that could, over time, compromise my relationships with them. I thought about ways I could secretly give them the gift of peace. I have now in the last few days, in fact, challenged myself to do so, and it is amazing how my feelings and attitude have already started to change. I have thus discovered that one person who benefits from my offering this gift of peace to others is myself.

 Gift-giving is on many of our minds this time of year. However much effort you choose to spend on finding the right material gifts for others, I invite you also to spend an equal amount of energy focusing on the spiritual gifts you can give to others this year. Perhaps there is a friend, family member, neighbor, or colleague to whom you would like to offer the gift of peace or some other spiritual gift.

  There are many ways to be generous with one another, many kinds of gifts we can share. Some require money, and others require a change of heart and a change of attitude. Whatever gifts we choose to give this season, whether they be chocolate coins or the gift of peace, may we all draw inspiration from the generosity of a secret gift-giving man named Nicholas.

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Let Your Gratefulness Overflow

Let Your Gratefulness Overflow

        I am sending out the Weekly Words of Wellness column two days early this week in honor of Thanksgiving. In this column, I reference a video that I have shared before, one that always softens my heart and reminds me of the importance of being grateful for the things I too easily take for granted.  

     The title for this column comes from one of the most beautiful videos I have ever seen. The focus of the video is nature, love, and gratitude, and it is an excerpt from a longer TED talk. Watching and reflecting on this video seems like a powerful way to prepare for the celebration of Thanksgiving. You might even want to share the video when you gather with family and friends over the next few days. 

     The video brings beautiful photography together with words written and spoken by a Benedictine monk named Brother David Steindl-Rast. Brother David invites us to pay close attention to the simple gifts and blessings of life that can be so easily overlooked. He points out that paying attention to the wonder of nature and the wonder of the people we encounter in our lives is the basis for authentic love and gratitude. I could not agree more. 

The link to the video can be found HERE. You will not regret investing the five minutes it takes to watch.

     If you want to read along as Brother David speaks, the text for his words follows:

     You think that this is just another day in your life... It's not just another day. It's the one day that is given to you - today. It's a gift. It's the only gift that you have right now, and the only appropriate response is gratefulness. If you learn to respond as if it were the first day in your life and the very last day then you will have spent this day very well. 

     Begin by opening your eyes, and be surprised that you have eyes you can open. That incredible array of colors that is constantly offered to us for our pure enjoyment. Look at the sky. We so rarely look at the sky. We so rarely note how different it is from moment to moment, with clouds coming and going.

     Open your eyes. Look at that. Look at the faces of people whom you meet. Each one has an incredible story behind their face, Not only their own story, but the story of their ancestors. All that life from generations and from so many places all over the world flows together and meets you here like a life-giving water if you only open your heart and drink. 

     Open your heart to the incredible gifts that civilization gives to us. You flip a switch, and there is electric light. You turn a faucet, and there is warm water, and cold water, and drinkable water... a gift that millions and millions in the world will never experience. 

       And so I am wishing you will open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you. That everyone you will meet on this day will be blessed by you, just by your presence. 

     Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you. Then it will really be a good day. 

May your gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you indeed.  Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at Living Compass.

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Loving THIS Holiday Season

Loving This Holiday Season

      A common teaching of many spiritual traditions involves the practice of learning to love and find peace with life just as it is in the present moment. This teaching is an antidote to the prevailing thinking of "I will not be happy, or I won't find peace until _____ happens." This, you see, translates into something like, "I can't find love and peace within my life, or with this person, until some time in the future when the change I want to occur finally happens. Then and only then will I be happy."

  Thinking that contentment cannot happen until some preferred future unfolds is a tempting form of distraction from not allowing ourselves to love things as they are and to be happy in the present moment. Another type of distraction from fully embracing the present is holding on to or wishing for the past. "If only it could be like it was last year or long ago, then I could be happy and at peace."  

  The holiday season is approaching, and so once again, we will have many opportunities to practice loving and finding peace with our lives just as they are in the present. We are wise to be aware, though, that the distractions to live in the future or the past become magnified this time of year. 

  Trying to create "perfect" holiday experiences is another form of distraction from being able to fully embrace things as they currently are. Messages like "Make it the best Christmas ever," and "Make it one they will always remember," create perfectionistic anxiety and impossible expectations. A much healthier message is, "Whatever is happening in your life this year, whatever vulnerability you are experiencing, practice embracing it fully and finding love and peace in the present moment of what is to be (or not) this holiday season."

  Feelings of grief and loss are common and completely normal this time of year. We mourn for loved ones who, for whatever reason, are no longer with us to celebrate. If our loss is recent, our grief is acute, and we need to fully embrace these feelings of loss and cry our tears of sadness. The paradox is that the more we can accept any feelings of loss we may be experiencing, the more we can then be open to finding the unique blessings that this holiday season holds for us. If we instead try to repress or numb any grief that we may be experiencing, we will undoubtedly be much less able to live into and embrace the good things the present moment does have to offer us this year.

  I share all this as a reminder for all of us to prepare our hearts and souls for what can be both a stressful and incredibly joyful time of year, sometimes all at the same time. If you are planning to host some kind of holiday gathering this year, you are no doubt already making preparations that will help you to welcome and enjoy your guests. In the same way, if we do some spiritual and emotional preparation for the holiday season, we will find that we have a little more room to welcome and find authentic joy in whatever this holiday season will bring for us this year.  

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