Paying Attention to Love

Paying Attention to Love

Inflatable yard decorations have become very popular this time of year. Most of the time, they provide a sense of good cheer to all who pass by. Occasionally, though, due to a leak or other malfunction, they either collapse on the ground or struggle to stand up straight.  

While out for a run a few days ago, I passed a house with three inflatable decorations in the front yard that were at best about two-thirds inflated. I was able to recognize that they were Santa, an elf, and a snowman. They were wavering back and forth as if they were trying to stand up but just couldn’t quite do it. As I continued on, I thought that what I had just seen was an appropriate symbol for the holiday season this year. We are all feeling a bit deflated, even as we waver back and forth, trying to make the best of the challenges we are facing.

Many of us are making the excruciatingly painful decision not to celebrate with family and friends with the intention of keeping ourselves and our communities safe. Most faith communities are also making the difficult but safe decision not to gather in person, another loss for many this year (although I am inspired by the many amazing online celebrations I see that many churches will be offering). It’s only natural to feel that some, or perhaps a lot, of the air has been let out of the joy we usually feel this time of year.  

I have always believed that whatever we pay attention to is what will grow. If we only pay attention to what can’t or won’t be happening this Christmas, we will feel deflated. If we pay attention instead to that for which we are grateful, we will realize that the true essence of Christmas is and has always been the gift and celebration of love. And so, while many things have been canceled this holiday season, love is not one of them. 

Whatever we pay attention to is what will grow. While not ignoring some of the deflation we may be feeling this Christmas, I invite us all to pay attention to the memories and moments of love that surround us and to be grateful. 

To those of you who celebrate, we at Living Compass wish you a Christmas filled with love and gratitude.  

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Pandemic Marathon Tips

Pandemic Marathon Tips

A well-known saying among marathoners is that “There are two halves to every marathon—the first 20 miles and the last 6.2.” While not mathematically accurate, this saying is correct in that it takes as much effort to complete the first 20 miles as it does the last 6.2.   

I have been fortunate to complete a few marathons over the years, so I know how difficult the final miles can be. Actually, it’s miles 20-25 that are the most difficult because once you get to mile 25, you get a psychological lift that the finish line is not far away. At mile 20, though, you are exhausted. The runners are no longer talking to each other (a complete change from earlier in the race) as they are conserving every ounce of energy they have in order to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

The people cheering them on also disappear around mile 20 because spectators need to hurry to the end themselves to watch their friend or family member cross the finish line. Those last miles are lonely, and your mind plays tricks on you, raising doubts about whether you will be able to finish.

This all came back to me when I realized how exhausted I am feeling by this pandemic marathon we all are running right now. None of us signed up for this marathon. And none of us could have prepared for it because we had no idea it was coming. We have no way of knowing if we are now halfway through this race because no one can say for sure how much farther it will be to the finish line. Even if we are metaphorically at mile 20, the remaining miles will likely be more challenging than we can imagine. 

I went online and researched some tips for first-time marathoners, looking for specific recommendations for the “second half” of a marathon. I share these tips with you here because I think they are timely for our current situation.

Hydrate and refuel often. Runners all have their favorite drinks, gels, and energy bars. They know from experience what boosts their energy best. We, too, know what boosts our spiritual, emotional, and physical energy and need to intentionally consume as much of that as possible right now.

Stop at every aid station, and get medical attention if needed. Marathon organizers add extra aid stations in the final miles, spacing them closer together. Medical tents are also available if needed. Aid stations in a pandemic can be a phone or Zoom call with a friend or loved one, a walk around the block, meditation/prayer, or participating in an online offering that boosts our spiritual and emotional well-being. Unlike a marathon race, we may need to create our own aid stations, being proactive, and spacing them more closely together. And if you do need to visit the medical tent because you are in pain, know that it is a sign of wisdom and strength to reach out for support from someone trained to help, such as a therapist, clergy person, or medical professional.  

Slow down and walk when you necessary. Listen to what your body, heart, and soul are telling you. Feeling exhausted? Slow down. Take a break. Learn to rest, not quit. 

Focus on short-term goals, rather than just the finish line. Some runners make it their goal to just make it to the next aid station or mile marker. Others focus on running for two minutes and then walking for two minutes. This week, I talked with someone who said their goal right now during COVID was to take a shower and get dressed every day. I applauded that goal. We are thrilled to read the good news about vaccines, and we so very much want the finish line to be just around the next corner. Right now, though, we need to focus on shorter-term goals and merely putting one foot in front of the other because letting our guard down now could risk not making it to the finish line or preventing others from not getting there.

If you see another runner struggling, stop, and offer support. Everyone has a story of why they run a marathon, and except for the few elite runners that are competing to win, everyone is cheering for and helping each other along the way. I will never forget once when I was walking and struggling to finish a race, and several people stopped and walked with me for a moment as they offered an encouraging word. It made all the difference.

This pandemic is an endurance event like no other we have experienced. We don’t know exactly how much longer we have to go, and the second "half" is likely to be every bit as challenging as the first. So let's remember these marathon tips and do all we can to help each other get across the finish line, arm in arm, together. 

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Lighting One Candle

Lighting One Candle

Living Compass is currently hosting an Advent group on Facebook. It is based on our booklet of daily readings for the season of Advent, and its theme is Practicing Hope with All Your Heart, Soul, Strength, and Mind. In case the idea of Advent is new for you, please know that it is a four-week season that many Christians observe to prepare for the celebration of Christmas. It is similar to the season of Lent, which is a time to prepare for Easter.  

What follows is a reflection I wrote for our Advent booklet. It speaks of the power of love and hope.

Have you ever found yourself, perhaps when the power has gone out at night, in a completely dark room where you can hardly see at all? Now imagine yourself in that same situation but with a single candle and some matches. You light the candle and then, what happens? You likely are amazed at the power that one single candle has to dispel the darkness. 

Candles are an essential part of our celebration of Advent (just as they are for Hanukkah, which our Jewish sisters and brothers will celebrate starting next Thursday). Churches, and many homes, have Advent wreaths with candles to mark the four weeks of Advent and then Christmas. These candles are signs of hope, signs of the light of Christ coming into the darkness of the world. They also remind us that the darkness cannot overcome the light. 

It has been said that “it is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.” I know that ultimately to be true, but I have to admit that in the darkness that is all too real in our world, I often struggle not to get stuck wringing my hands and cursing the darkness. This is another one of those times when hope can be a decision, an act of the will, an intentional choice to find a way to light one candle rather than to curse and complain about the darkness.

Despair is real. It is powerful. However, the power of love and hope are even greater. 

If or when you find yourself cursing or complaining about all that is wrong in the world, you might instead choose to light a candle in the darkness and then take a few minutes to reflect on one thing you can do to be a light of love and hope for others in your corner of the world.

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Let Gratefulness Overflow into Blessing All Around You

Let Gratefulness Overflow into Blessing All Around You

This week's column's title comes from one of my favorite videos. I have shared it in this column before, as it speaks so eloquently about the true meaning of Thanksgiving. 

The video, which focuses on nature, beauty, and gratitude, brings the stunning photography of Louie Schwartzberg together with the spoken words of Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast. Brother David invites us to pay attention, really pay attention to the simple gifts and blessings of life that can be so quickly be taken for granted. He points out that paying attention to the wonder of nature and the wonder of the people we encounter in our life is the basis for authentic gratitude. I could not agree more, and I am trying to practice it even in these challenging times.

This Thanksgiving, many of our hearts are filled not only with gratitude but also with grief. Grief for the multitude of devastating losses caused by COVID-19 and for not being able to be with friends and family as we make the difficult choice to do our part in reducing the spread of the virus.  

Perhaps because my heart is exceedingly soft this year, I am even more deeply moved by this video’s message. Seeing people in the video hug and be close to one another is especially poignant. While it made me miss such closeness with others, it also brought back beautiful memories of past holiday gatherings. It reminded me that a time would come when we will once again be able to share our love and gratitude with each other, socially close and unmasked. When that day comes, I think we will all hug and cry, never taking such wonders for granted again.  

You can view the video at this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpkEvBtyL7M

If you want to read along as Brother David speaks, the text of his words follows. His narration is spectacular, and so I highly recommend listening to him recite these words.  

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, and in the words of Brother David, "May your gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you.” 

  “You think that this is just another day in your life. It's not just another day. It's the one day that is given to you - today. It's given to you. It's a gift. It's the only gift that you have right now. And the only appropriate response is gratefulness. 

  If you do nothing else but to cultivate that response to the great gift that this unique day is. If you learn to respond as if it were the first day in your life and the very last day, then you will have spent this day very well. 

  Begin by opening your eyes, and be surprised that you have eyes you can open to that incredible array of colors that is constantly offered to us for our pure enjoyment. Look at the sky. We so rarely look at the sky. We so rarely note how different it is from moment to moment, with clouds coming and going. We just think of the weather, and even with the weather we don't think of all the many nuances of weather. We just think of "good weather" and "bad weather." 

  This day, right now, with its unique weather, may be a kind that will never exactly in that form come again. The formation of clouds in the sky will never be the same as it is right now. Open your eyes. Look at that. 

  Look at the faces of people whom you meet. Each one has an incredible story behind their face, a story that you could never fully fathom. Not only their own story, but the story of their ancestors. We all go back so far.

  And in this present moment on this day, all the people you meet, all that life from generations, and from so many places all over the world, flows together and meets you here like a life-giving water, if you only open your heart and drink. 

  Open your heart to the incredible gifts that civilization gives to us. You flip a switch, and there is electric light. You turn a faucet, and there is warm water, and cold water, and drinkable water, a gift that millions and millions in the world will never experience. 

  So these are just a few of an enormous number of gifts to which you can open your heart. 

  And so I am wishing you will open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you. Know that everyone you will meet on this day will be blessed by you, just by your eyes, by your smile, by your touch, just by your presence. 

  Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you. Then it will really be a good day.”

Words by Brother David Steindl-Rast

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Thank You for Your Service

Thank You for Your Service

Our nation observed Veterans Day this week, and on that day, I witnessed a noticeable shift on my Facebook feed. The political posts diminished, and in their place were streams of photos shared by friends whose loved ones had served our country in military service. 

I love listening to stories of people’s families. So I relished the photos and stories that people shared of their parents, spouses, siblings, grandparents, children, and other friends and relatives who had served or are serving our country, in one capacity or another. All of this brought back many memories and stories of my grandfather and father, both of whom served in World War I and II, respectively. 

Each post that was shared received numerous “likes” and comments. Most of the comments, especially the ones related to people who posted about their own military service, were expressions such as “thank you for your service” or “we are grateful for what you have given for our country.”  

The highlight for me reading these comments was watching people who I know are on opposite ends of the political spectrum expressing their gratitude for and to each other. It was a good reminder that even though there are serious divisions in our nation, there are also values and experiences that transcend those differences and bring us together.

Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away, and so gratitude has been on my mind as well. Reflecting on Thanksgiving and all the expressions of appreciation I was reading for veterans led me to think that “thank you for your service” is not something we have to reserve just for veterans. We can share a word of thanks at any time.

So I said it to a teacher today, one I know who is spending long hours teaching online. And to my dentist, who was there when I recently had an emergency. I also said it to a few pastor friends who work tirelessly to serve their congregations while they cannot currently meet in person. I thanked the people who checked me out at the grocery store today. And when I see them next, I will say it to all the people I know who work in health care and the many mental health therapists I know. 

  Veterans Day and Thanksgiving. Service and gratitude. Two values that I believe are foundational for living well, both personally and communally.

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