Love, Listening, and Lent
Valentine's Day is almost here. A few days after that begins a season observed by hundreds of millions of Christians worldwide, the season of Lent, a time of preparation for the celebration of Easter.
Each year, our Living Compass spirituality and wellness initiative produces a booklet of daily readings for the season of Lent based on a wellness theme. This year’s theme is “Listening with All Your Heart, Soul, Strength, and Mind.” Over the course of six weeks, various writers offer daily reflections on listening to ourselves, to our neighbors, and to God. We will also reflect on listening in the midst of change and listening as an act of mercy and love.
Listening is truly an act of love. If you are wondering what to give someone you love (no need to limit your thinking to only romantic love) for Valentine’s Day, there is no more extraordinary gift than the gift of listening. This gift will not cost you any money; however, it will require conscious and intentional effort.
Think of a time when someone extended to you the gift of deep, authentic listening—a time when someone listened not just to your words but the feelings beneath the words. How did that feel? Now think of a time when someone was distracted or kept interrupting you when you were trying to talk about something important. How did that feel? Comparing these two experiences reminds us of just how extraordinary the gift of listening is.
Two common practices for those who observe Lent are giving something up and/or taking something on, such as a healthy practice or discipline. As I focus on listening this Lent, I will be doing both. Here’s what I will be trying to give up:
*the tendency to interrupt
*the need to steer conversations back to myself
*multitasking or being distracted when someone is speaking to me.
*the need to give unsolicited answers or advice
*impatience when someone is telling a story or relating an experience
*formulating my response before a person is done speaking
And here is what I intend to take on:
*being more comfortable with silence (It’s worth noting that the words listen and silent contain the same six letters.)
*being completely present when someone is speaking to me
*listening to understand rather than to respond
*listening with the “ears of my heart.”
*being genuinely curious about what people are telling me
by asking open-ended follow-up questions and making
requests like, “tell me more about that.”
*taking more time for prayer and meditation so that I can quiet and center myself enough to make room for listening to others.
So listening, love, and Lent are all connected for me this year. If you see a connection, too, I invite you to sign up to receive our daily readings for Lent via email. I also invite you to join our Facebook group to talk and listen to each other as we reflect on the daily readings. You can sign up for either or both by going to https://www.livingcompass.org/lent-signup. There is also a Spanish language version of these daily readings with its own original content, written by our friends at Brújula de la Vida https://www.facebook.com/MiBrujuladeVida.
As Valentine’s Day and the season of Lent approach, I invite us to think about someone we know who could benefit from receiving from us one of the most loving gifts of all, the gift of listening.
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