Speaking Love Without Saying a Word

 
Speaking Love Without Saying a Word.png
 

Speaking Love Without Saying a Word

  Throughout the world this past week, churches held special services for the blessing of animals. People young and old brought their pets to the service to have them prayed over and blessed. When I have had the honor to help at these services, I have blessed beloved dogs, cats, hamsters, guinea pigs, birds, fish, and even a few stuffed animals that children lovingly brought with them to church. I have friends who have blessed horses, cows, goats, rats, and snakes!

 The reason these services were happening this week is because it the time of year that churches remember is the Francis of Assisi, otherwise known as St. Francis, who died on October 3, 1226. Francis was well known for his love of nature and of animals, and he regularly preached about the importance of learning to be good stewards of all of God's creation. One saying attributed to Francis appears in the quote box above: “Preach the Gospel always. When necessary, use words.” This saying seems perfect for a pet celebration because of the ways our pets embody love without ever saying a word.  

  One of the things I loved most about blessing peoples' pets, was that when they introduced me to their pets and told me a little bit about their special animals, it provided a window into their souls. Pets have a way of touching our souls and bringing out the very best in us, and so it only seems right to have a service for blessing pets. A gathering of pets and their human families for a special celebration is simply a way to celebrate the way in which pets enrich our lives every day.

  Our pets give back to us in so many ways. Author Matthew Fox wrote how his dog was his spiritual director and that he had learned many valuable lessons about how to live well from his dog. In that spirit, I conclude this week's column with a list of 20 things we can learn from a dog. 

Twenty Things I Learned From My Dog

  1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

  2. Allow the experience of fresh air and wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

  3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

  4. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

  5. Let others know when they have invaded your territory.

  6. Take naps and stretch before rising.

  7. Run, romp, and play daily.

  8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

  9. Be loyal.

  10. Never pretend to be something you are not.

  11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

  12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close and nuzzle them gently.

  13. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

  14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

  15. On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shade tree.

  16. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

  17. No matter how often you are scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout, . . . . run right back and make friends.

  18. Bond with your pack.

  19. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

  20. Long after you are gone, remain a memory in people’s dreams.


   Even if we do not currently own a pet, or did not attend a special pet service this week, we can all take some time to notice the animals around us and be grateful for their innumerable blessings.

 


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Of Grief and Gratitude

 
New Weller MEme Grief.png
 

Of Grief and Gratitude

   I have had several conversations with people about my column from last week, where I wrote about how the season of fall reminds us that loss and letting go are a natural and inevitable part of life. A couple of people said this is precisely why they don't like fall because it does remind them of loss. I understand that because feeling the sadness we have about the losses we have experienced is never easy. A question I often get as both a pastor and therapist is some version of, "Do I really have to talk about and feel my sadness and grief, or is it best to just try not to think about it, in hopes that it will go away on its own?"  

  Take a moment and think about the people in your life who you think of as wise, the people who you might describe as "old souls." I know for me, the people I think of in this way, are also people who have been through a lot and have come out the other side wiser and deeper, both emotionally and spiritually. They have been through hard times, including challenge and loss, and have emerged more grateful and wiser about life.  

  So while none of us desires experiences of grief and loss, they are, of course, inevitable. Our only choice is how we will carry them.

  Francis Weller, a well-respected psychotherapist and grief expert, says all of this much better than I am saying it here. And so I will close with a long quote from him, the same one that is found in the box above. May his wisdom help us to see that it is in the way we carry our losses that enhances our capacity for compassion and gratitude.  

"The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? That's how much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, I'll bend toward cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I'll become saccharine and won't develop much compassion for other people's suffering. Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible." 


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A Symphony of Permanence and Change

 
A Symphony of Permanence and Change
 

A Symphony of Permanence and Change

   The autumnal equinox, one of the days we experience equal amounts of darkness and light, occurred this week, ushering in one of my favorite seasons. I love the season of fall and not just because I enjoy football, apple picking, the stunning colors of the changing leaves, the World Series, Halloween, and Thanksgiving. I also love fall because it is a time when I find myself turning inward, reflecting on the changing nature of life in general, and my life in particular. The poet Bonaro Overstreet says that autumn is "a symphony of permanence and change." Turning inward to reflect on what has changed, or what is changing, also provides the opportunity for me to focus on that which is changeless, that which is permanent.

   Fall is a time of transition. It's not just the trees that are transitioning here in the northern hemisphere, the geese and other wildlife are preparing for the coming winter months as well. The geese as well as  other animals move great distances, making an external, literal transition of place. Trees and other animals, stay and create an internal transition as they shift their energy from external growth and creation to various expressions of internal protecting and stewarding.

   I find that I too benefit from doing a similar kind of internal transitioning in the fall, as I both let go of what has been, and hold fast to what remains, learning to be appreciative of both. As the quote in the box above conveys so well, "The trees are about to show us how beautiful letting go can be."

   Our lives indeed are comprised of equal parts light and shadow, a balance of day and night, an ongoing "symphony of permanence and change.” As we begin the transition of this season, may we embrace the wisdom of knowing that even in letting go we can find beauty.  


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What's In Your Cup?

 
What's In Your Cup?
 

What’s In Your Cup?

A while back, I came across a teaching story, and months later, its lesson has stayed with me. It came back to me again this week as I was thinking about the column I wrote last week about how what emerges from within us is directly related to that in which we choose to immerse ourselves.

  This teaching story is an additional way to think about what emerges from us, especially in times of stress or disruption. 

 Here is the story.

You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and accidentally bumps you and shakes your arm, making you spill coffee everywhere.

Why did you spill the coffee?

Because someone bumped into you, right?

Wrong answer.

You spilled the coffee because coffee was in the cup.

If tea had been in it, you would have spilled tea.

Whatever is inside the cup is what will come out.

Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you,

whatever is inside of you will come out. 

So each of us has to ask ourselves..... what's in my cup?

When life gets bumpy, what spills over?

Joy, gratefulness, peace, and humility?

Or anger, bitterness, harsh words, and reactions?

We choose what's in our cup!

Today, let's work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation to ourselves and others, kindness, gentleness, and love! **


  This story was on my mind again earlier today when I was driving to my office. Another car cut me off in traffic without (seemingly) any awareness of my presence. I was not proud of the words that came out of my mouth, but was glad they were only for my ears to hear, in the confines of my car. It appears that there's a bit too much stress and irritability in my coffee cup right now. Of course, part of me wants to blame the other driver for my reaction. But as the teaching story points out, that's the wrong answer. 

  The right answer is that I need to be more intentional about filling my cup with patience, forgiveness, peace, and understanding. 

  How about you? What's your cup full of right now? If you are not sure, perhaps it will become apparent the next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or comes along and bumps you in some other way.  

**This story has been attributed to many different sources, but there is no consensus on authorship. If any of the readers of this column have more information about its author, please let me know.



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Learning By Immersion

 
Learning By Immersion
 

Learning By Immersion

    This is part two of my reflections on my recent experience participating in a Spanish language immersion program in Cuernavaca, Mexico. 

   If you are a regular reader of this column, you know that I am a bit of a word nerd and I love to study the etymology of words. This made my recent language immersion program all the more interesting, as now I was learning about the origins of words in a second language.  

  The verb “mostrar,” for example, in Spanish means to show or to display as it comes from the Latin root “monstrare” (meaning to point out) which comes from “monstrum.” The word “demonstrate” in English comes from the same Latin root. “Monstrum” means “a sign or wonder from God.” And interestingly is the root from which we get the word “monster,” as originally a monster was anything seen as a bad omen sent by God. I warned you I was a word nerd. 

   Because I was involved in a language immersion program, I, of course, decided to study the etymology of the word “immersion.” I discovered that the words “immersion” and “emerge” both come from the same Latin root “mergere,” which means “to dip, sink, or plunge.” The difference between the words immersion and emerge is found in the prefix. With “im” as the prefix, the word immersion means to go into a “dip, sink, or plunge.” With “e” as the prefix, the word emerge means to exit or come out of a “dip, sink, or plunge.” So, for example, we can immerse an object in water, and that same object can also emerge out of the water. 

   So this may be a long way to get to my point, but here it is. What emerges from us is a product of that in which we are immersed. If we immerse ourselves in negativity, that is what will likely emerge from us. If we surround ourselves with angry, toxic people, we will likely become angry and toxic ourselves. Yet if we immerse ourselves in life-giving spiritual practices, a life-giving spirituality, showing itself as appreciation and contentment, will likely emerge from us. And if we surround ourselves with people who serve and give back to the community, we will likely become more giving ourselves.  

  We truly do learn to speak the language of that in which we are immersed. So, one of the lessons I learned while in Mexico is if we want to something new to emerge in our lives, we will need to immerse ourselves in that which we wish to see emerge, whether that be a new language, or a new way of being. 

Some of you have asked about the language school I attended in Cuernavaca, Mexico. It is called the Spanish Language Institute. You can find their website here. They can also arrange a home stay (optional) with a family for you and a variety of cultural excursions. If you contact them, ask for Maru and mention my name.



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