Letting Go for Lent

I don't know how many times I said to myself when our children were growing up, "I wish I could freeze this moment, or this stage of life, and just hold on to it for a little longer." This desire is not exclusive to parenting. Any time we are in the middle of a wonderful experience whether it be a meal with friends, a special trip, a retreat, or a beautiful experience in nature it is natural to want to freeze time and hold on to the experience as it it too precious to let it go. We have all learned by now that it is, of course, impossible to hold on to people, time, or experiences, and yet, the longing remains. Letting go, emotionally and spiritually, is hard work, and yet we have plenty of opportunities to practice as we seek to let go of the past and to not become overly attached to the present. If we need a reminder of how futile it is to hold on and freeze time, all we need do is simply look in the mirror, or look at a photograph of ourselves from a few years ago. It is impossible not to notice that we have changed. This week, for those who observed the celebration of Ash Wednesday, there was an additional reminder of the transitory nature of this life we live together. On Ash Wednesday, a sign of the cross is made with ashes on each person's forehead, accompanied by these words, "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return." Thus we are reminded that our physical lives are temporary and all the opportunities we currently have to practice letting go are but a prelude to the ultimate act of letting go, of that time when one day our physical bodies will indeed return to dust.

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the Christian celebration of Lent, a season of 40 days that concludes with the celebration of Easter. There is a long tradition of people giving something up for Lent. More recently there has been a focus on 'taking something on' for Lent, such as taking on some kind of practice that will strengthen one's spiritual, emotional, or physical well-being. If you are a person who observes Lent and finds that giving something up or taking something on works well for you, then you have probably already made a decision to do one of these things. I would be delighted to hear from as to what you are either giving up or taking on this year as I am always curious to learn about the creative ways that people find to observe Lent.

Now if you are looking for another way to observe Lent besides giving something up or taking something on, I highly recommend a third approach, and that is to focus on the discipline of "letting go for Lent." Letting go for Lent can take many forms. It can mean letting go of a need to control a situation or a person and instead being open to and being curious about other ways of doing things. Letting go for Lent can also mean letting go of our need to be right, which might include letting go of resentment or long held grudges.

Letting go for Lent can also mean letting go of both the busyness and hurriedness that can gradually control our lives, slowly crowding out any time to re-create and renew ourselves. Letting go for Lent can also mean letting go of possessions which can clutter our lives.

Finally, letting go for Lent can mean fully embracing the passing of time in our lives, letting go of the desire to freeze a period of time or hold on to what was or is. As wonderful as the past may have been, the ability to let it go frees us to open our hearts and souls to the wonder of this present moment in our lives, even on the occasion when it might not be what we expected or wanted. Learning to live fully into the present moment means to affirm the fact that there is much to be grateful for in every moment, in every stage of life.

The title of our Living Compass daily meditation booklet for Lent is "Renew a Right Spirit Within Me" because that is the goal of any Lenten practice. So whether you choose to give something up, take something on, or practice letting go for Lent, may these next 40 days be a time of renewal for you.

Everything Is A Present

Alice Sommer Herz won my heart a little over five years ago when she was 105 years old.    Someone sent me a short video interview of Alice and I remember being moved to tears by her exceptional story and spirit.  Alice died this week at the age of 110.  At the time of her death she was the oldest living Holocaust survivor, which is remarkable in and of itself.  She is, however, best remembered for her contagious, positive spirit, which is all the more noteworthy once one comes to learn her story. Alice survived the Holocaust at the Theresienstadt concentration camp, located in what is now the Czech Republic.  Tens of thousands of Jews died there, some killed outright and others dying from malnutrition and disease.  More than 150,000 people, including countless children, were held her for months or years before being sent to their deaths.  Alice and her young son were spared simply because she was a concert pianist.  The Nazi's used her, and other Jewish artists, to perform as part of a propaganda campaign to try and fool the world in to thinking that they were treating the Jews with respect.  Her mother and husband were not so fortunate and both died at the hands of the Nazis.

In her own words, Alice described life at the Theresienstadt concentration camp:

“We had to play because the Red Cross came three times a year. The Germans wanted to show its representatives that the situation of the Jews in Theresienstadt was good. Whenever I knew that I had a concert, I was happy. Music is magic. We performed in the council hall before an audience of 150 old, hopeless, sick and hungry people. They lived for the music. It was like food to them. If they hadn't come [to hear us], they would have died long before. As we would have.”

To have survived life in a concentration camp, to have suffered the deaths of her loved ones and countless other friends, and live to be 110 would be a fantastic enough story.  But it's not just that she survived all these tragedies that makes Alice so memorable and admirable.  The fact that her spirit found a way to thrive even after having experienced what would understandably leave many people angry, bitter, and hopeless makes her life uniquely inspiring.

Alice's story is best told by Alice herself.  Trying to capture her spirit with this written text is like, to use an analogy she would have appreciated, trying to capture the essence of Bach concerto with words.  Her story, like the music she played, is a gift for the soul.  And so I share this video of Alice with you, and pray that her spirit may be as much a gift for your soul as it has been for mine and to all who knew her.

Rest in peace sweet Alice.  Thank you embodying the resiliency of the human spirit and for showing us that, in your own words, that, “"Life is beautiful, love is beautiful, nature and music are beautiful. Everything is a present."

You can watch the video of Alice here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5VTkQKgxkY 

A Speed Skater Village

My wife and I are runners and during this very cold and icy winter in our hometown of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, we have had to go inside on many occasions to run. On those days we are always grateful that our city hosts one of the largest indoor running tracks in the country at the Pettit National Ice Center. The running track is so large that each mile is only three and a half laps (a high school track, for comparison, is four laps to a mile). We know the track well, having run many, many laps there this past weekend and over the past two months as we continue to train for a marathon in April. This amazing indoor facility which hosts this large running track was not built for runners, but rather for Olympic speed skaters. The facility houses one of four Olympic 400 meter ice ovals in the United States and two ice hockey rinks, all of which the running track encircles. Prior to the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics in 2002 the Pettit National Ice Center was the official training center for Olympic skaters. Bonnie Blair, Eric Heiden, and Dan Jansen all trained here. Shani Davis, a member of the current US Olympic team, lives in the Chicago area and trains both in Milwaukee and Salt Lake City today. It is an exciting place to be on any day as there are regularly world class athletes training or competing.

As we were completing our training run last weekend we were fortunate to witness the beginning of a special speed skating competition that was taking place on the Olympic oval. It just so happened that high school age speed skaters from all around the United States were in town for the 2014 US Junior Olympics Long Track Championships. This competition, while not the Winter Olympics in Soshi, was a prelude to that level of competition. We were told by the coaches and officials that several of the young men and women competing in this event would most likely be skating in the next winter Olympics in four years.

Inspired to be so close to forty amazing skaters, we stayed for over an hour to watch them compete. We were able to stand so close to the ice that we could actually feel the drafts they created as they sped by us, one pair at a time. As inspired as we were by the athletes, we were equally inspired by the one hundred or so spectators and coaches that were present to cheer on the skaters. The spectators were mostly the parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and brothers and sisters of the skaters. We talked to several spectators from at least ten different states who had all taken time off of work and school, traveled countless miles, and undoubtedly spent lots of money to be at this event, all to support these young people.

We spoke with many of the parents and coaches and heard stories about the early mornings, late nights, and many weekends that they had each dedicated over the years to traveling and cheering on their favorite skater. The sacrifices they were each making, including flying to Milwaukee for this competition, were real and so was the joy on their faces as they cheered and yelled encouragement from the stands at the top of their lungs.

There are only four Olympic length ice ovals in the United States and so traveling great distances as a speed skater or a supporter of speed skaters is a given for this sport. To help us understand the commitment of these fans to their athletes imagine if the young person in your life was a soccer, baseball, or basketball player and there were only four fields or courts in the entire United States on which to compete. If that were the case, you might very well be doing the same thing.

As I watched the Olympics in Sochi this past week, especially the speed skaters, I kept thinking back to last weekend. I found myself not just watching the skaters, but the fans in the stands who were there to cheer for them. I thought of all the hours that the athletes had put in on the ice, as well as how much the skaters' coaches and families had sacrificed to support them in getting to this pinnacle of their sport.

It is said that it takes a village to raise a child. My wife and I witnessed last week that it clearly takes a village to raise a speed skater, as well. I am sure the same is true for bobsledders, ski jumpers, hockey players, and snowboarders, too. I am also sure that it is true for any endeavor that any person chooses to pursue, sports related or otherwise, one person cannot do it alone. Sometimes we are the one pursuing a goal or overcoming a challenge, and sometimes we play the part of the village, supporting and cheering on someone we care about as he or she chases a goal or works to overcome a challenge.

There are at least two "take aways" in all of this for me. First, when you are working hard to pursue an important goal or are facing a tough challenge, be sure to surround yourself with a village of support. It will feel better on both the good days and the bad. Second, when you know someone who is pursuing an important goal or a touch challenge, be part of their village and cheer for them "at the top of your lungs."

I Want to Hold Your Hand.

One of the simple and great pleasures in my life at this moment is when our four month old grandson holds my hand.   The sensation of his four month old hand and my hand together creates a feeling of unspeakable joy.  Truth be told, he doesn't actually hold my hand, it's more like he holds my finger.  Even more to the point, he not only holds my finger, but my heart, too.  There is something universally profound and comforting about the simple act of two people holding hands.  In fact, scientific research demonstrates the powerful effect on the brain that happens when two people touch or hold hands. Stress is reduced and people feel happier, simply by holding hands. Earlier this week, there was much written about the fiftieth anniversary of the Beatles first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show.  I remember being a small boy and watching the show with my family and I distinctly remember the Beatles singing, “I Want to Hold Your Hand,”  a song that became the first of the group's many number one hits in America.  Like the very act of love that the song celebrates, the words and tune of this song are as simple as they are memorable and the world loved it.

Today is Valentine's Day and I have long thought it important on this day to honor and celebrate all varieties and expressions of love, not only romantic love.  Why limit this day to just one expression of love when life is full of so many other beautiful experiences of love?  In that spirit, if I had to choose a love song to help celebrate all of these many different expressions and experiences of love, I cannot think of a better song than, “I Want to Hold Your Hand.”   Even though this song refers to romantic love, the act of holding hands is a universal demonstration of all kinds of love.

In light of this thought, I have been reflecting on my life, both past and present, and reflecting on all of those with whom I have loved holding hands.  Who have you loved to hold hands with through the years? Children? Lovers? Parents? Friends? It's inspiring and comforting to think of the many ways in which holding hands has provided comfort and expressed love throughout our lives.

Now I love holding the hand of my new grandson, just as I loved holding the hands of my children years ago. I have powerful memories of holding each of my parent's hands in the final days of their lives that I will always treasure.  As a pastor, I have had the honor of holding hands with thousands of people as we prayed together.    As an athlete I enjoy “high-fiving” a teammate or competitor after an inspiring performance, and it strikes me that giving someone a high five is an abbreviated form of holding hands.  In fact, even the everyday act of shaking hands with someone is a momentary act of holding hands.  Of course, I love holding hands with my wife, especially when I'm in need of reassurance or when we share a strong emotion. What  list would you create from your life?  Together our lists, if we were to share them, would indeed move us as we would come to awareness of  the multitude of ways in which love is both expressed and experienced through the simple act of holding of hands.

After the Valentine's flowers have wilted and the chocolates have been eaten you always have at your disposal a simple, delightful and reassuring gift that you can offer on any day, your hand.  Happy Valentine's Day to all of our readers and in the week ahead may you look around you in search of someone who would like to have you hold their hand.

Drug? What's the Big Deal?

This week a local high school in suburban Milwaukee, WI is hosting a seminar for parents entitled, “Drugs? What's the Big Deal?” On  the flyer promoting the event it states that heroin is now the drug of choice in the suburban county in which this high school is located.  Unfortunately, you would be hard pressed to find a high school in the United States that has been not affected at some level by heroin or other drug use.  Over the last several years, drug abuse by young people has become increasingly more dangerous  for the simple reason that young people are increasingly using and abusing more dangerous drugs, and often mixing them with alcohol. How did this happen?  There are of course many complex factors that contribute to the increased use of heroin by young people, but the most important factor is the increased illegal use of prescription drugs.  Prescriptions pain drugs such as oxycontin or vicodin are increasing available to anyone who desires to use or abuse them.  The connection between prescription painkillers and heroin is twofold.  The “high” from abusing prescription painkillers is very similar to the “high” of using heroin, and the cost of heroin on the black market is half the price of prescription painkillers.  These two facts can literally, at times, be a lethal combination, and even more so when mixed with alcohol.

We learned again about the lethality of heroin this week with the death of actor Philip Seymour Hoffman.  Hoffman, an Academy Award winning actor, was found dead in his apartment with a needle in his arm and fifty bags of heroin nearby.  While his death received front page coverage, the other approximately hundred people who died of a drug overdose in our country on the same day, did not. Hospital statistics tell us that an average of one hundred people die every day of drug overdoses in the United States and most of these never make the news. These numbers merely count the deaths and can't even begin to quantify the amount of despair, heartbreak, and sorrow that occur in the lives of the addicts and of their families.  “Drugs? What's the Big Deal?”  Sadness and heartache and death are in fact the big deal.

So what can we do in response to this public health crisis and to the fact that addictions to heroin and other drugs, including alcohol, are an undeniable problem in our country?

• We can  talk with those we love about drug use and abuse, whether  it be heroin, or alcohol, or something else.  We cannot make progress in addressing this issue unless we keep our eyes open and admit it when there is a potential problem.

• Build a caring relationship with the teens and young adults in your life. Research shows that young people who feel connected to the adults in their lives have a reduced rate of drug and alcohol use.

• Talk about this issue in your family, your school, your faith community, your       neighborhood, and even in your workplace. Talk about what each of these groups of people you are involved with can do to help prevent addictions from developing in and around them.

• Be honest with yourself. If you are concerned about your own use of drugs and/or alcohol, talk with someone and seek help now.

• If you  have  prescription painkillers in your home, be sure you safeguard them from young people and dispose properly of any unused prescriptions.

• If you are concerned that someone you love may be abusing drugs and/or alcohol, take the risk and talk to them about your concern.  Don't make the mistake of waiting for them to bring it up.  Let them know that you care about them, are concerned about their well being, and are there to help.  Don't judge.

• Remember that an addiction is a brain disease and needs medical attention to promote healing.  Help the person with the addiction find medical care.

•  Become informed about drugs, what they do, how you can get help or offer help by familiarizing yourself with helpful websites such as www.drugfree.org.  The more information you have, the better equipped you will be to help someone if the need should ever arise.

Drug and alcohol abuse is not an issue that affects “other people.” Every one of us most likely cares about someone whose life has been affected by drug and/or alcohol addiction.  We must keep talking about this and keep raising our consciousness so that together we can make a difference in lessening the heartache and pain that go hand in hand with addiction of any type.

Wouldn't it be great if someday there was not a need for a class entitled, “Drugs? What's the Big Deal?”  That day is not now, but now is the time to wonder, “What can I do in my part of the world to begin to make that a possibility?”