Encouraging Everyone to Sing Along

I caught something forty years ago from a man who died this week, and I'm glad I did.  Pete Seeger, who passed away this week at the age of 94, was the sole inspiration for my passion for learning to play guitar and banjo back when I was in high school in  the early 1970‘s.  His vitality and spirit that came through  his playing and singing was contagious for me and I wanted to sing as well.  It was simple, I learned to play folk music because I wanted to be like Pete Seeger. I am incredibly fortunate to be able to say that I saw Pete Seeger in concert several times and there are two things that I remember most about those wonderful experiences.  The first is the incredible range of music that he would perform.  I will never forget his dancing and stomping around the stage as he told the story and sang the children's song, “Abiyoyo.”  It was hard to know who was having more fun at those moments--the adults and children in the audience or Pete himself.  It was powerful how this master of song would change the mood on a dime by following a fun-loving children's song in his concerts with a spiritual song such as “Turn, Turn, Turn,” Amazing, Grace,” or “We Shall Overcome.”  Those songs might then be followed by a social protest song or a song about cleaning up the Hudson River, a cause he spent decades supporting.  I was always impressed by how passionate and at home he was with each of these musical genres.  While the style and mood of his music would change, his inner vitality and inner light remained the same, mesmerizing and enthralling the diverse crowd as he wove the music together into a tapestry of emotion and thoughtfulness for one and all

The second signature memory I have  of a Pete Seeger concert is something that would become apparent a few seconds into the opening song.  We concert goers would quickly discover that we were not so much at a concert, but were participating in a singalong.  When Pete sang a song, he always sang it twice.  Before singing each line of a song he would sing or speak the line to the audience so that they could then sing along with him going forward.  He taught us the song as he sang it and pretty soon we found ourselves in the midst of a 5,000 member choir singing and swaying to the music.  Pete Seeger's concerts, like his music as a whole, had the power to create community where every voice was encouraged and welcomed.

If you look at the picture at the top of this column you will see a picture of Pete Seeger as song leader.   You can sense his contagious energy as he is inviting, or rather calling forth, the audience to sing along.   Fans are created when a group of people enjoy having the voice a great singer lifted up.  Community, on the other hand, is created when everyone's voice is welcomed, lifted and becomes an integral part of the gathering. Authentic, spirit-filled  communities (be they families, faith communities, groups of friends or people at a Pete Seeger concert) where everyone's voice is encouraged and heard are contagious.  We want to be a part of them--and we want to sing along.

Thanks Pete for inspiring me to use my voice to make music and more importantly, for inspiring everyone who continues to create communities of spirit and love where everyone's voice is encouraged and welcomed.  May we all, in honor of Pete Seeger's memory, continue to create places where everyone's voice, in this singalong we call life, is welcome and all are included in the choir.

Being Present When It Matters Most

It's probably safe to say that all of us know someone who has experienced some type of trauma at some point in their life, things such as witnessing or being a victim of domestic or other violence, being in or witnessing a life threatening accident, losing a loved one suddenly or living through a natural disaster. It is also probably safe to say that many of us have experienced trauma at some point in our own lives. People who are recovering from trauma need the healing presence of others at that point of their lives more than perhaps at any other time in their lives, and yet....  many people simply do not know how best to be present to their friends and family who need their healing presence.This week I learned about a young woman who has much to teach us and I want to share her wisdom with you.  The young woman is Catherine Woodiwiss.  In 2008, Catherine's sister died in a horseback riding accident, and in 2013, Catherine, herself,was hit by a car on her bicycle, experiencing trauma to her face, the healing of which required numerous surgeries. Catherine recently wrote a blog post about what these two tragic experiences have taught her about life after trauma.  This blog post received national attention this week when New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote a beautiful column based on Catherine's wisdom, entitled, “The Art of Presence” http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/21/opinion/brooks-the-art-of-presence.html.

Here is a summary of the ten things Catherine learned about living with trauma. 1. Trauma permanently changes us.

2.  Presence is always better than distance.

3.  Healing is seasonal, not linear.

4.  Surviving trauma takes “firefighters” and “builders.” Very few people are        both.

5.  Grieving is social, and so is healing.

6.  Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.

7.  Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.

8.  Love shows up in unexpected ways.

9.  Whatever doesn't kill you …

10. .....Doesn't kill you.

      I highly recommend that you read Catherine's entire column found below so that you can  benefit fully from her hard earned wisdom, as understanding this about trauma might help you reach out to another or heklp you reach out for help if you are, indeed also recovering from trauma.  “A New Normal: Ten Things I've Learned About Trauma” can be found by clicking here.  In her own way, she is offering her presence to anyone affected by trauma.   http://sojo.net/blogs/2014/01/13/new-normal-ten-things-ive-learned-about-trauma

As someone who has experienced trauma in a bicycle accident in 2006 and has also had the honor of working with many survivors of trauma, Catherine's words are as profound as they are helpful.  Grief and trauma truly are social, and that is why I invite you to read her whole blog post.  If you are recovering from trauma, you will better understand what you are experiencing, or if you know someone who is a trauma survivor, you will better understand how you can best be an important presence in his or her healing process.

Know Yourself. Live Better.

The title of this column, “Know Yourself. Live Better.” could easily be from a classic spiritual or philosophical piece of writing.  After all, it was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  Aristotle added, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”  And in the Bible, in the seventh chapter of the Gospel of Matthew, it says, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye.”  In fact, the phrase, “Know Thyself” is inscribed on the ancient Greek Temple of Apollo at Delphi.  Throughout history, wise teachers have certainly stressed the importance of self-knowledge. “Know yourself, live better,” however, is not the saying of an ancient spiritual sage, but rather the slogan that appears on the package of a fitness tracking device that I received for Christmas..  Fitness tracking devices are quite popular these days.  Some devices are worn on your wrist and some clip somewhere near your waist or on your shoe.  They all do a good job of recording the total number of steps you take each day.  In this way, they are simply high tech pedometers.  The wrist band models do more than just count your steps though--they also keep track of how many hours of sleep you get each night.  Each of these devices connects to your computer or smart phone, thus clearly revealing to you your daily fitness trends.

I like my fitness band because it does, in fact, help me to know myself better.  Like many people, I have a pretty sedentary job and so it's helpful to actually see how many steps I take and how many calories I burn each day.  There is also the great incentive of seeing the clear results in both step count and burned calories that a good workout delivers.  I'm happy to report that I'm doing pretty well with my daily step count, but I'm learning that I need to get more sleep.   Most importantly, my new device is also already serving as a motivator for positive change.  The other bonus of these fitness tracking devices is that through the app on your smartphone or a website on your computer you can share your daily step count with friends and family, thus creating a group of friends to both cheer you on and keep you accountable.

I do not mention the fitness device craze to encourage  you to purchase a fitness tracking device, but rather, to emphasize the essential role that self-knowledge plays in making of better choices.   There are indeed many other ways, other than using a fitness tracking device, for us to gain greater self-knowledge.   Any of the following can assist us with knowing ourselves better:

• A regular practice of keeping a journal or diary.
• A regular practice of spiritual reading or study.
• Being part of a support or accountability group.
• Honest conversations with friends and love ones where honest feedback can be freely given and received.
• A regular practice of prayer or meditation.
• Meeting with a coach, pastor, spiritual director, or therapist.

Once we increase our self-awareness, then we still have to decide  if we want to “live better.”  I don't know about you, but I know that when I gain greater self-knowledge, I am almost always motivated to make better choices based on that self-knowledge. Taking an honest look at our habits takes courage, but it is also the first step towards creating a more grace-filled, vital life.

High-tech gadgets come and go faster than the change of seasons, but the ancient spiritual wisdom of the importance of honest and accurate self-knowledge is as true today as it was three thousand years ago.  How ever you choose to achieve greater self-knowledge, I encourage you to make it a regular practice, because better living, along with greater vitality, is almost always sure to follow.

Person of the Year

Time Magazine honored Pope Francis last month with their annual “Person of the Year” award.  Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elected pope on March 13, 2013 and he immediately let the world know through a series of simple and powerful actions that he was going to be a different kind of pope.  Through these actions Pope Francis has touched the hearts and souls of millions of people around the world, including millions who are outside the membership of the Roman Catholic Church.  It is these simple actions that have endeared him to the world and earned Pope Francis Time Magazine's Person of the Year award. The first action, signifying what was to follow, was that the new pope took the name Francis.  St. Francis, one of the most beloved saints, was well known for his life of simplicity and his devotion to caring for the poor.  In his first public act this new pope demonstrated the humble spirit of his namesake by asking the crowd of 150,000 people to pray for him before he, in turn, offered them a blessing.

Numerous photographs and videos of Pope Francis serving the “least of these”  have further demonstrated his gentle and compassionate spirit.  He washed the feet of a young woman at a juvenile prison during Holy Week.  He touched and blessed a man with a disfiguring skin condition at a public Mass and moved the hearts of millions while doing so.  And when a little boy jumped onto the stage in St. Peter's Square while the Pope was giving an address, he showed great patience and kindness to the boy, even when the boy refused to leave until he got a hug from Pope Francis.

These, and other simple actions, along with his words have set a tone of compassion, humility, and healing and have earned Pope Francis the “Person of the Year” award.  As I reflect on all of this from the point of view of wellness, what stands out for me is that  the award that this new pope received is entitled the Person of the Year Award.  He was not given an award for being the Pope of the Year--that would be a pretty small field of candidates, after all--but Person of the Year.  That's what I want to really highlight about Francis, in terms of this award--not what kind of pope he is, but what kind of person and example he is for all of us.

I highlight this because his actions demonstrate what a high level of spiritual, emotional, and relational wellness looks like.  We don't have to become pope to aspire to the qualities that Pope Francis exemplifies.  The key to being a good pope is the also the key to being good at any role or vocation we have in life, and that is first and foremost, to simply be a good person.  Being a good person is the key to being a good friend, a good spouse, a good teacher, a good parent, a good worker of any kind, and clearly of being a good pope.  I can't think of any role in life that is not greatly enhanced by being a good person.  Pope Francis has also reminded us that no title or role  matters nearly as much as the character of the person that inhabits that role. Consistently living our lives in a way that demonstrates humility, compassion, and patience will most likely not get any of us elected pope or earn us any kind of popular award.  Centering our lives on these virtues will, however, ultimately be it's own reward, for our own emotional and spiritual well-being as well as for the emotional and spiritual well-being of those who know us best.

A New Year's Gift to Yourself

Merry Tenth day of Christmas to all of you and Happy New Year, as well.  As we all transition into a new year, I hope that each of us will take some time to reflect on what we are most grateful for in regard to the year that has just passed, and what we wish to more intentional about in the year to come. One of the defining activities of the Christmas season is the giving and receiving of gifts.  And, of course one of the defining activities of the beginning of a new year is the making of resolutions.  As I hear people talk about the former activity--the giving and receiving of gifts--I sense great joy in what people share about their gifts to others.  As I hear people talk about the latter activity, however--making New Years resolutions--I typically sense a very different kind of energy.  When people talk about making their resolutions for the new year. I often instead sense underlying feelings of self-criticism, anxiety, and a long list of “shoulds” that people feel they need to live up to.

So I have a suggestion.  What if we were to bring the same joy and positive energy that we feel about the giving and receiving of gifts to the setting of new years resolutions?  What if we were to think about our new year's resolutions as gifts that we are choosing to give to ourselves?

When you or I want to give a lovely gift to someone we care about, we first take some time to think about what that person would really want.  What would make them truly happy?  The better we know the person, the more easily it is for us to choose just the right gift that we know will please them.  What we desire most for the person to whom we are giving our gift is that our gift will bring them a great sense of joy.  We certainly wouldn't give a gift to someone else because we think it's about time they finally change something about themselves and we hope that our gift will help bring that change about.  If our resolutions or new commitments are, in fact, gifts to ourselves we would not want to have that attidude about this gift to ourselves either.  Instead, we would wonder what new commitment could help us get what we really want, what would please us or make us truly happy, and what would give us a new sense of joy.

With this mindset in mind, I have decided to give myself the gift of three New Year's resolutions for 2014.  First, I have signed up to run the Salt Lake City Marathon in April as I love to run and have a goal.  Second, I have decided to play more chess, so I have  have signed up to play on an online international chess playing site.  And finally, I am following a daily reading plan on a Bible study app that selects fifteen minutes of Bible readings per day for me.  Doing each of these activities is a gift I can give to myself.  Upon reflection this new year I realize that I tend to work more than is good and thus I need more rest and play in my life which the chess and running will help with.  The marathon also has the added benefit that several members of my family will be running the Salt Lake City half-marathon the same day and so we will have a great deal of fun as a group training and running together.  The chess is also lots of fun as I can share my love of the game with others. And any extra time I spend nurturing my spiritual life is always one of the greatest gifts I can give to myself.  I don't feel one ounce of “should” or “have to” about any of these  resolutions.  I know it's early in the year, but I am already enjoying the benefits that the gift of these resolutions are having on my life.

You know yourself better than anyone.  You know better than anyone what  more of or less of in your life right now would make you happier and more joyful.  Why not give yourself the gift of a new year's resolution that will help increase your sense of balance and wholeness, and thus your over all sense of well-being?  And there is one additional  benefit to approaching the setting of a resolution as a gift to yourself rather than as a “should,” and that is in the long run, there is a much better chance that you will stay with your positive resolution.