"The New Elimination Diet."

The New Elimination Diet

The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site.

We love inspiring quotes. We value them so highly that we invite participants in our six-week Wellness Circle programs to select and share a quote with their group, one that will serve as a guide or a “compass” for the goals they set for themselves in their circle. Some participants turn their quotes into bookmarks or put them on Post-it notes and stick them in places where they will see them regularly.

In that spirit, today, we are going to share one of the quotes one of our participants shared in a Wellness Circle a few months ago.

Here’s this week’s quote:

“The New Elimination Diet: Remove anger, regret, resentment, guilt, blame, and worry. Then watch your health and life improve.”

Charles Glassman, M.D.

Many approaches to dieting are grounded in shame and self-criticism, something we could never support. This quote, however, speaks of one approach to a diet we can get behind and one we wish to practice for ourselves.

Many of you wrote to us last week and thanked us for focusing on the importance of self-compassion as we set intentions for the new year. The quote above goes along with that way of thinking and invites us to let go of four things that relate directly to practicing self-compassion: regret, resentment, guilt, and blame. For us to eliminate these things does not mean that we don’t or that we shouldn’t feel them. The idea is not to get stuck in them, to let them go over time rather than letting them weigh us down, causing us to suffer one way or another.

The same can be said for anger and worry. There are healthy experiences and expressions of both of these emotions, as well as unhealthy ones. We can usually sense the difference. People often reach out to us when they know their anger or worry is excessive and/or they are feeling consumed by them. This is a healthy move on their part as they know that being unable to let certain emotions go will have a long-term negative effect on their life and health.

Our overall physical health and wellbeing are intricately intertwined with our emotions. It is wise for all of us to identify and practice eliminating emotions that could harm us. When we do this, we can all watch our health and life improve.

Do you have a quote that guides your wellbeing right now or your intentions for the new year? One you might put up on a sticky note and post on your mirror or laptop?

We would love to hear it—so we invite you to share it with us on our Wellness Compass Facebook page, where we also share this column each week.

****************************************************************************************************************

In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast

---

Subscribe Now to Weekly Words of Wellness:

Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

You can unsubscribe at any time.

"Grounding Growth in Self-Compassion"

Grounding Growth in Self-Compassion

The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site.

Why do you think so many New Year’s resolutions do not last? While acknowledging that there are many reasons that many don’t ever come to fruition, we want to focus on one particular reason we have seen frequently in our experience as family therapists. We believe that most attempts at behavior change fail because they are rooted in self-criticism rather than self-compassion.

Have you ever tried to change someone else’s behavior by constantly criticizing them? Maybe a child or teen? Or a partner, friend, or colleague? How did that work out? Probably not so well. It likely didn’t promote the change you were hoping for, and it likely damaged the relationship and the other person’s self-esteem as well.

This happens, too, when we try to change because we do not like some aspect of ourselves, as then our motivation to change comes through self-criticism. This also rarely works out, and it almost always makes us feel worse instead of making things better. Setting ourselves up to fail with New Year’s resolutions only adds to the cycle of self-criticism.

Our recommendation is to ground any desire for growth and change with a commitment to first increasing self-compassion. Gardners know that before they plant seeds, they must ensure the soil contains the proper nutrients. Good seeds planted in poor soil will not grow well, which is also why if our best intentions to change are rooted in the soil of self-criticism, they will rarely last.

Embrace imperfection. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Practice gratitude. Celebrate all the ways in which you are already “enough.” And if you do want to make a change, be sure the change is an expression of self-care, not self-judgment.

Resolving to nurture greater self-compassion is a good idea for the first few days of January and every other day of the year.

****************************************************************************************************************

In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast

---

Subscribe Now to Weekly Words of Wellness:

Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

You can unsubscribe at any time.

"The Gift of Our Presence."

The Gift of Our Presence

The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site.

Thank you for your presence this past year. With your help, the Wellness Compass Initiative and its partner, Living Compass, have reached many thousands of people this year. 

We are grateful for the individuals, couples, families, schools, and other non-profit organizations that use and share our resources with others. 

You make our initiative possible; the holidays are the perfect time to pause and acknowledge that. Each one of you is an integral part of our wellness movement.

Our entire team wishes you and yours the happiest of holidays.

Holly Hughes Stoner

Scott Stoner

Robbin Brent

Carolyn Karl

P.S. We recorded and released a new episode for the Wellness Compass podcast this week on the importance of giving the gift of our presence. If you want to listen, you can find it HERE

****************************************************************************************************************

In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast

---

Subscribe Now to Weekly Words of Wellness:

Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

You can unsubscribe at any time.

"Tending, Mending, and Bending"

On the Necessity of Snow Angels

The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site.

In the spirit of simplicity during the holidays, rather than writing and sending a full column this week, we are sharing this beautiful poem by octogenarian Grace Butcher. It was shared with us recently, and we loved it. We invite you now to read it slowly and then reflect on how you might, as in the closing words of the poem say, "Keep walking toward the next beautiful thing that you will do.” 

On our Wellness Compass podcast this week, we share how this poem spoke to the two of us. If you are interested, you can listen on our website at www.wellnesscompass.org/podcast or in your favorite podcast app.

"On the Necessity of Snow Angels for the Well-Being of the World" by Grace Butcher

Wherever there is snow, I go, 

making angels along the way

Luckily angels have no gender 

and are easier to make

than you might think.

All you have to do is let go, 

fall on your back,

look up at the sky as if in prayer.

Move your arms like wings.

Move your legs to make a robe.

Rise carefully so as to do no harm, 

and walk away.

All the angels along the path behind you

will sparkle in sunlight, gleam under the stars.



In spring the angels will be invisible 

but really they are still there, 

their outlines remain on the earth

where you put them, 

waiting for you and the snow to return.

Keep walking,

towards the next beautiful thing 

you will do.

*A note about Grace Butcher from the web: Grace is a poet, writer, horsewoman, motorcyclist, actor, and runner, and is also the founder of Kent State University – Geauga's literary magazine The Listening Eye — which is still going strong more than half a century since its founding.

**And a special thank you to our friend Nancy Enderle for introducing us to this poem.

****************************************************************************************************************

In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast

---

Subscribe Now to Weekly Words of Wellness:

Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

You can unsubscribe at any time.

Honoring All the Emotions of the Holidays

Honoring All the Emotions of the Holidays

The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site.

We decided over the last few days that we want our columns during the holiday season to be the very best ones we have ever written, ones that readers will remember forever. And if they don’t live up to that hope, they will all have been for naught.

There is no pressure with this expectation, right?

While this aspiration is, of course, tongue in cheek, we began today’s column by sharing it as we heard a commercial this week that included a phrase that seemed equally silly.  In the commercial a voice sang out, ”Make this the best holiday season ever—one they will never forget.” Again, there is no pressure with this expectation, right? From a wellness vantage point, though, the simple yet powerful suggestion in the ad seemed to be a set-up for holiday disappointment, one that completely ignores the complex emotions that most people feel during the holiday season.

The reality is that we experience the full range of emotions this time of year.  It is a time we can be acutely aware of any losses we have experienced, especially if this is the first holiday without a loved one. Financial pressures are common and can lead to high levels of stress. There are also the emotions that come from the temptation to compare ourselves to others who, based on their social media posts, seem to be having the “best holiday season ever.” Additionally, in the midst of the holidays this year, we are all experiencing the overwhelming suffering that is happening in the greater world right now, suffering that is breaking all of our hearts.

As marriage and family therapists, we are also aware of the importance of honoring emotions, including the ones that don’t fit the script of a feel-good holiday movie or commercial.

We have yet to hear a commercial with the following, so we will offer it here: "Make this a holiday season where you prioritize your wellbeing and the wellbeing of others. Focus on the spiritual meaning of the holidays and small expressions of kindness and compassion, and try not to let expectations (your own or other's) create undue pressure. Embrace, without judgment, whatever emotions you are feeling this year.”

The holidays can stir up the full range of our emotions. Let’s be sure to make space for ourselves and our relationships to honor them all. ****************************************************************************************************************

In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast

---

Subscribe Now to Weekly Words of Wellness:

Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

You can unsubscribe at any time.