"The Gift of Our Presence."

The Gift of Our Presence

The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site.

Thank you for your presence this past year. With your help, the Wellness Compass Initiative and its partner, Living Compass, have reached many thousands of people this year. 

We are grateful for the individuals, couples, families, schools, and other non-profit organizations that use and share our resources with others. 

You make our initiative possible; the holidays are the perfect time to pause and acknowledge that. Each one of you is an integral part of our wellness movement.

Our entire team wishes you and yours the happiest of holidays.

Holly Hughes Stoner

Scott Stoner

Robbin Brent

Carolyn Karl

P.S. We recorded and released a new episode for the Wellness Compass podcast this week on the importance of giving the gift of our presence. If you want to listen, you can find it HERE

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In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast

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"Tending, Mending, and Bending"

On the Necessity of Snow Angels

The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site.

In the spirit of simplicity during the holidays, rather than writing and sending a full column this week, we are sharing this beautiful poem by octogenarian Grace Butcher. It was shared with us recently, and we loved it. We invite you now to read it slowly and then reflect on how you might, as in the closing words of the poem say, "Keep walking toward the next beautiful thing that you will do.” 

On our Wellness Compass podcast this week, we share how this poem spoke to the two of us. If you are interested, you can listen on our website at www.wellnesscompass.org/podcast or in your favorite podcast app.

"On the Necessity of Snow Angels for the Well-Being of the World" by Grace Butcher

Wherever there is snow, I go, 

making angels along the way

Luckily angels have no gender 

and are easier to make

than you might think.

All you have to do is let go, 

fall on your back,

look up at the sky as if in prayer.

Move your arms like wings.

Move your legs to make a robe.

Rise carefully so as to do no harm, 

and walk away.

All the angels along the path behind you

will sparkle in sunlight, gleam under the stars.



In spring the angels will be invisible 

but really they are still there, 

their outlines remain on the earth

where you put them, 

waiting for you and the snow to return.

Keep walking,

towards the next beautiful thing 

you will do.

*A note about Grace Butcher from the web: Grace is a poet, writer, horsewoman, motorcyclist, actor, and runner, and is also the founder of Kent State University – Geauga's literary magazine The Listening Eye — which is still going strong more than half a century since its founding.

**And a special thank you to our friend Nancy Enderle for introducing us to this poem.

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In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast

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Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

You can unsubscribe at any time.

Honoring All the Emotions of the Holidays

Honoring All the Emotions of the Holidays

The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site.

We decided over the last few days that we want our columns during the holiday season to be the very best ones we have ever written, ones that readers will remember forever. And if they don’t live up to that hope, they will all have been for naught.

There is no pressure with this expectation, right?

While this aspiration is, of course, tongue in cheek, we began today’s column by sharing it as we heard a commercial this week that included a phrase that seemed equally silly.  In the commercial a voice sang out, ”Make this the best holiday season ever—one they will never forget.” Again, there is no pressure with this expectation, right? From a wellness vantage point, though, the simple yet powerful suggestion in the ad seemed to be a set-up for holiday disappointment, one that completely ignores the complex emotions that most people feel during the holiday season.

The reality is that we experience the full range of emotions this time of year.  It is a time we can be acutely aware of any losses we have experienced, especially if this is the first holiday without a loved one. Financial pressures are common and can lead to high levels of stress. There are also the emotions that come from the temptation to compare ourselves to others who, based on their social media posts, seem to be having the “best holiday season ever.” Additionally, in the midst of the holidays this year, we are all experiencing the overwhelming suffering that is happening in the greater world right now, suffering that is breaking all of our hearts.

As marriage and family therapists, we are also aware of the importance of honoring emotions, including the ones that don’t fit the script of a feel-good holiday movie or commercial.

We have yet to hear a commercial with the following, so we will offer it here: "Make this a holiday season where you prioritize your wellbeing and the wellbeing of others. Focus on the spiritual meaning of the holidays and small expressions of kindness and compassion, and try not to let expectations (your own or other's) create undue pressure. Embrace, without judgment, whatever emotions you are feeling this year.”

The holidays can stir up the full range of our emotions. Let’s be sure to make space for ourselves and our relationships to honor them all. ****************************************************************************************************************

In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast

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Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

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Keeping Our Glasses Clean

Keeping Our Glasses Clean

The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site.

Small daily habits make a difference. For example, every morning, we both clean our glasses. It’s just something we do as part of our morning routine. Doing so allows us to see the world a little more clearly. If we miss a day, we probably won’t notice it that much, but if missing a day turned into missing a week, our view of things would undoubtedly become a bit clouded.

Practicing gratitude is like this. Practicing it each day allows us to see the world more clearly. Neglecting to do so over time clouds our vision, and we may wonder why the world looks a bit dull or dark.  

There are several ways we can practice an “attitude of gratitude.” Some people find it helpful to keep a regular gratitude journal. We have several friends who are doing this as a practice for the entire month of November. In honor of Thanksgiving being this month, they started on the first of the month by writing down and/or posting on social media three to five things for which they are grateful. Their practice deepens as they commit to not repeating anything the whole month, instead naming three to five new things each day. This discipline reminds them, and those of us who are seeing these daily posts, to notice and name the little things that happen each day that are so easy to take for granted.

As marriage and family therapists, we know how crucial it is to practice gratitude in our relationships with family, friends, and colleagues. Each expression of gratitude puts a little air in the tires of the person receiving our appreciation and enhances our connection as well. When relationships are distant or conflicted, all parties usually report that they no longer feel loved and appreciated by the other person. At some point, they realize that the lenses through which they view the other person have become clouded with hurt and resentment.  

It takes awareness and intention to begin to change this cycle, but it is possible. Often, the best way to start the change is to acknowledge one’s own part in the pattern.

Nurturing our spirituality is another way to enhance our practice of gratitude. All spiritual traditions focus on the importance of regularly offering gratitude for the many gifts of this life and of the created world.  

To focus on gratitude is not to ignore the incredible suffering of the world. In fact, a mature spirituality contains both the capacity to acknowledge and commit to the relief of suffering, and, at the same time, to committing to recognize and share gratitude.  

We are grateful to be able to take some time off starting next week, and so this column, and the podcast that accompanies it, will return right after Thanksgiving. Until then, let’s all work to keep our glasses clean so we can see all that we have to be grateful for.

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In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast

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Subscribe Now to Weekly Words of Wellness:

Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

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Kindness is Your Superpower

Kindness is Your Superpower

The Wellness Compass Initiative is our partner community wellness initative. Each week we write a column for Wellness Compass and we are pleased to share it here on our Living Compass site.

On a recent walk, we came across a sign that said, "Kindness is your superpower." The message was quite timely.

If you ever doubt the power of kindness, you can quickly become reassured of the difference it makes by trying it. Make an effort to say a kind word to someone today. You might call someone who could use a kind word, send an email, or text to someone who could use some encouragement. Or you could make a meal for a friend, help a neighbor with a chore, or volunteer your time to a cause that is important to you. Create some words or acts of kindness, and then notice the difference you make as you see the look of gratitude and joy in the other person's eyes. You will discover that kindness truly is your superpower.

This superpower can also be extended to ourselves. Self-compassion is sometimes the most challenging kind of compassion to express, as many of us are our own worst critics. So, when it comes to spreading kindness, remember to offer some to yourself, as well.

Random acts of kindness are also a great way to put positive energy into the world. Give up your seat for a stranger. Help a person carry their bags. Offer an unexpected compliment to someone. Let someone go ahead of you in line. Hold an elevator door for someone. Speak up for someone who is marginalized. Go for a walk and pick up any litter you encounter.

In a world where we can be anything, let's always remember to be kind.

If this column inspires you to do something kind, please visit our Facebook page (The Wellness Compass Initiative), where we also post this column and share your act of kindness in the comment section. You just might inspire someone else to activate their own superpower of kindness.

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In addition to this column, there is also an episode of the Wellness Compass podcast based on this column. You can listen in your favorite podcast app and at www.WellnessCompass.org/podcast

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Subscribe Now to Weekly Words of Wellness:

Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

You can unsubscribe at any time.