Celebrating Playfulness

Celebrating Playfulness

Imagine you have just met someone who recently moved to the United States from another part of the world, and this person has never heard of Groundhog Day, so they ask you to explain it. You begin by telling them about a little town in Pennsylvania called Punxsutawney, hoping they don't ask you how to spell it. You explain that a groundhog named Phil lives there and is reported to be immortal, now having lived 137 years.  

You continue with how every year on February 2nd, Punxsutawney Phil is placed inside a simulated stump in front of a large, cheering crowd. And the moment everyone waits for is when this rodent, a cousin to the squirrel, emerges from his "stump." It is then that we find out if he sees his shadow or not. If he does, it means six more weeks of winter; if he does not, spring is just around the corner. Every news outlet has something to say about the events in Punxsutawney on Groundhog Day, and never does a groundhog receive so much attention on social media. 

By this point, you and your friend are probably having a good laugh about how cold weather can get to all of us sooner or later. You both realize how winter can even make a country of otherwise rational people celebrate a winter festival centered around a groundhog predicting the weather. The point of this fun celebration is just that--it is silly for sure and gives us all a chance to be playful.

When our kids were little, we, like many parents do, used to love reading silly stories to them. The more outlandish the story, the better. When we didn't have a good book to read, we were delighted to make stories up, spinning very elaborate yarns about a fictional family called the Langerts and their crazy adventures. These stories were just as silly as the stories we heard about a groundhog this week and were just as much fun. Groundhog Day is proof that we never outgrow our love of silly stories. 

There are many, many serious things going on in the world today. There is a time to be very serious about life, and most of us do "serious" pretty well. What's more challenging for many of us is remembering to make time for play and silliness.

Punxsutawney Phil made his prediction this week, and so we would like to make one of our own. If we don't make time for playfulness in our lives, we predict there may be more weeks of gray clouds ahead. However, if you can make some time for fun in your life, we predict a new spring in your step will be just around the corner.

Making It Personal:

When was the last time you did or enjoyed something playful or fun? 

When was the last time you let your imagination run wild? 

What's something you could do this week that would be playful? 

(Today’s column focusing on the wellness area of Rest and Play is the fourth in an eight-part series that will explore the eight areas of wellness that are part of the Wellness Compass Model for Well-Being.)

To explore your own well-being in the eight areas of wellness, you may be interested in downloading our newest FREE resource, The Adult Wellness Compass Notebook. This workbook is perfect for either individual or group use, and is a tool for self-reflection, learning, and goal setting. Click HERE to download and enjoy.

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the topic of playfulness and wellness. You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Loving Every Body

Loving Every Body

It's about that time of year when the resolve that felt so strong at the beginning of the new year begins to fade. One reason may be that the resolution to change was not rooted in self-love, but instead in self-doubt or self-criticism.  

As the quote above states so clearly, there are those who profit by creating self-doubt, with subtle and not-so-subtle messages that we are not okay as we are. If only we had more of this, less of that, looked more like this, achieved more of that, possessed more of this, or experienced more of that, maybe then, or even only then, could we be truly content.  

We ground everything we offer in our Wellness Compass initiative in self-love. So, for example, if and when a person wants to make a change, we first help them to make sure that their desire to change comes from a source of positive motivation, not from a place of self-criticism, self-doubt, or because someone else thinks they need to change.  

The most common New Year's resolutions each year relate to how we care for our bodies and our physical well-being. This area of wellness is often filled with shame and self-criticism. Social media and the messages of our popular culture can create a sense of self-doubt. 

Here's a little exercise to try. If someone asked you, "What do you really like about your body," how easily could you answer, and how long would your list be? Compare that to your response if someone instead asked, "What do you currently not like about your body?" For many of us, the answers to the second question come much easier, while we have to think much harder about our responses to the first question. Another simple exercise is this: When you look in the mirror, what are the first thoughts that come to mind? These questions are meant to help us be more aware of our inner voices and what they are saying to us about how we feel about our bodies.

If you made a resolution related to the care for your body and are struggling to stay with it, take a moment to examine your motivation. And if you want to start over again, perhaps you can start by simply resolving to fully love your body as it is. If you start with that, then your body can let you know if or when there is something it would like to be different. It's similar to how we care for a good friend. We don't ever use shame or doubt to get them to change. But if there is a change they want to make, we are quick to offer our love and support to help them make that change. Perhaps we can provide that same kind of approach to ourselves.  

Making It Personal

1. How did you respond to the questions about what you like about your body vs. what you don't like? Which was easier for you to answer?

2. Can you think of a time when you decided to change how you cared for your physical well-being from a motive of loving self-care? If so, what did you learn from that experience?

(Today’s column is the third in an eight-part series that will explore the eight areas of wellness that are part of the Wellness Compass Model for Well-Being.)

To explore your own well-being in the eight areas of wellness, you may be interested in downloading our newest FREE resource, The Adult Wellness Compass Notebook. This workbook is perfect for either individual or group use, and is a tool for self-reflection, learning, and goal setting. Click HERE to download and enjoy.

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the topic of how we care for our bodies. You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Your Life's Calling

Your Life’s Calling

We remember going to a funeral many years ago where it was said about the person (his name was Robert) whose life was being remembered, "I think his calling in life was to be a good friend because he was truly a dear friend to everyone who knew him." The idea of being a good friend as a "calling in life" has always stayed with us. 

It's easy to assume that a "life calling" needs to be something grand and remarkable. For example, we just celebrated Martin Luther King Day, a celebration of a man who had the courage to follow a genuinely grand and remarkable calling. While none of us will likely have the kind of impact on the world that King did, each of us can aspire to a more "local" calling, such as being a good friend or neighbor to others. To quote Dr. King, "If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way." 

Another word for "our calling in life" is our vocation, which happens to be one of our eight areas of well-being in our Wellness Compass Model for Well-Being. And as we continue our eight-part series on our whole-person approach to wellness, we invite you to reflect on how you feel about your sense of calling or vocation in life.  

The quote at the top of this column, that some attribute to Aristotle, says that vocation is where our talents and the world's needs meet. With this definition in mind, our vocation can be expressed in and through our paid work, our volunteer service, and/or our role as a parent, partner, spouse, aunt, uncle, grandparent, neighbor, or friend. 

Our "calling in life" sometimes shifts and strengthens as we move through the different stages and ages of our lives. Many people, for example, talk about one of the benefits of being older is that they have more ability and time to give back to the world than they did when they were younger. Giving back to the world is one way they can align their talents with the world's needs and live out their "calling."

The beginning of a new year is a typical time to reflect on our lives, so we are exploring a different area of well-being each week in our January and February columns (and our corresponding podcast episodes). This week we invite you to use the "Making It Personal" questions below to take a moment to reflect on your sense of calling or vocation and how that is impacting your overall sense of wellness right now.  

Making It Personal:

1. If someone asked you, "what do you think your calling in life is how would you answer? If you are unsure, take some time over the next few days or weeks to think about it/

2. Has your sense of how you want to give back to the world shifted over your lifetime?

3. Is there a shift you are sensing that you want to make right now, one that would help you more fully connect your "gifts and talents with the needs of the world" and help you better express your sense of calling?

4. If you are working (in whatever way you define work right now), how satisfied are you with your work/life balance?

(Today’s column is the second in an eight-part series that will explore the eight areas of wellness that are part of the Wellness Compass Model for Well-Being.)

To explore your own well-being in the eight areas of wellness, you may be interested in downloading our newest FREE resource, The Adult Wellness Compass Notebook. This workbook is perfect for either individual or group use, and is a tool for self-reflection, learning, and goal setting. Click HERE to download and enjoy.

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the connection between vocation and well-being. You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Spirituality, Awe, and Well-Being

Spirituality, Awe, and Well-Being

The word “awesome” has become so ubiquitous that it has nearly lost its meaning. Originally it referred to being “profoundly reverential,” something that inspired deep wonder and mystery. Today it has simply come to mean something that is “impressive or very good.”

If, for no other reason, one benefit of reconnecting with the original meaning of awe is that doing so is good for our health and well-being. This fact was reported in a New York Times article this week about a newly published book, “Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life” by a psychologist named Dr. Dacher Keltner. You can read the article HERE.  

Here’s a quote from the article: “In his book, Dr. Keltner writes that awe is critical to our well-being — just like joy, contentment‌ , and love. His research suggests it has tremendous health benefits that include calming down our nervous system and triggering the release of oxytocin, the “love” hormone that promotes trust and bonding.”

Dr. Keltner believes that our capacity to experience awe is something that can be cultivated. He recommends explicitly four practices: 

1. Pay attention.

2. Focus on the goodness and moral beauty of others.

3. Practice mindfulness.

4. Be willing sometimes to choose the unfamiliar path. 

Our Wellness Compass Model of well-being takes a whole-person approach to wellness that focuses on eight interconnecting dimensions of well-being. One of those eight areas is Spirituality, an area of wellness that includes the capacity to both experience and express awe. 

As with each of the eight areas of our Wellness Compass, spirituality is not something we simply have or don’t have. It is something that can be nurtured and strengthened, be it in a religious sense or not. Adopting a regular spiritual practice that connects us with a higher and transcendent dimension of life will strengthen the spiritual dimension of our lives.

We are grateful for the affirming research and suggestions Dr. Keltner offers in his new book that supports this idea. We also appreciate his practical ideas for deepening our spirituality and our capacity to experience awe.

Making It Personal:

1. When was the last time you experienced a profound sense of awe? What did you experience?

2. What do you think about the idea that experiencing awe can be cultivated? 

3. What connection do you see or feel between spirituality, awe, and your overall well-being?  

4. As the new year begins, is there anything you to kindle or rekindle the spiritual dimension of your life?

(Today’s column is the first in an eight-part series that will explore the eight areas of wellness that are part of the Wellness Compass Model for Well-Being.)

To explore your own well-being in the eight areas of wellness, you may be interested in downloading our newest FREE resource, The Adult Wellness Compass Notebook. This workbook is perfect for either individual or group use, and is a tool for self-reflection, learning, and goal setting. Click HERE to download and enjoy.

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the connection between spirituality and well-being. You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

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Changing From the Inside Out

Changing From the Inside Out

Have  you ever said, "yes" to doing something for the wrong reason? Maybe it was peer pressure, or thinking you should say "yes," or because you didn't want to disappoint someone, or even that you didn't really think through your decision before responding.

In our experience, this is what happens with many people who make New Year's resolutions. They say, “yes" to making a change for the wrong reason. Maybe they say, "yes" because it's what they think someone is supposed to do at this time of year. Or because others are encouraging them to make a resolution and you don't want to disappoint them.  Or even because they are worried about coming across as a person who isn't willing to commit to growth and self-improvement.  

In these scenarios, what is happening is that a person is making a decision from the "outside in." They are responding to an external prompt to do something rather than an internal prompt. Studies have shown that when any commitment to change, such as a a New Year's resolution, is made from the “outside in," it has a minimal chance of happening.

So our advice is that if you want to make a resolution to change—at the beginning of a new year or at any time—you do it from the "inside, out." This involves first deeply listening to what whispers you are getting from your life. Listen to your heart. Listen to your body. Listen to your spirit.

Our lives are always speaking to us, but we are not always listening. What is your life saying to you right now, and based on that, is there a change you want to work to make? Creating a resolution, something you feel strongly will create greater wellness in your life, to change from the "inside, out,” will give you a much better chance of making and sustaining the change.You are making a particular change because you genuinely want to make it, and not because you think you “should," or not because you are trying to please someone else.

Tens of thousands of people have visited https://www.wellnesscompass.org/assessments  to take our online self-assessments (adult, parent and teen versions) because they find them to be an effective tool to help them listen to their lives from the “inside out." We share them with you in the hopes that  you might find it helpful, too.

We wish each and every one of you a happy and healthy New Year.

Making It Personal:

1. What do you think of the value of creating change from the "outside in" vs. the “inside out?”

2. What helps you listen to your life, helping to revealany possible changes you want to make?

3. Is there an intention or resolution that you are considering right now?  What might your first step be in making that change?

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the idea that change is an “inside job.” You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Subscribe Now to Weekly Words of Wellness:

Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

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