Your Life's Calling

Your Life’s Calling

We remember going to a funeral many years ago where it was said about the person (his name was Robert) whose life was being remembered, "I think his calling in life was to be a good friend because he was truly a dear friend to everyone who knew him." The idea of being a good friend as a "calling in life" has always stayed with us. 

It's easy to assume that a "life calling" needs to be something grand and remarkable. For example, we just celebrated Martin Luther King Day, a celebration of a man who had the courage to follow a genuinely grand and remarkable calling. While none of us will likely have the kind of impact on the world that King did, each of us can aspire to a more "local" calling, such as being a good friend or neighbor to others. To quote Dr. King, "If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way." 

Another word for "our calling in life" is our vocation, which happens to be one of our eight areas of well-being in our Wellness Compass Model for Well-Being. And as we continue our eight-part series on our whole-person approach to wellness, we invite you to reflect on how you feel about your sense of calling or vocation in life.  

The quote at the top of this column, that some attribute to Aristotle, says that vocation is where our talents and the world's needs meet. With this definition in mind, our vocation can be expressed in and through our paid work, our volunteer service, and/or our role as a parent, partner, spouse, aunt, uncle, grandparent, neighbor, or friend. 

Our "calling in life" sometimes shifts and strengthens as we move through the different stages and ages of our lives. Many people, for example, talk about one of the benefits of being older is that they have more ability and time to give back to the world than they did when they were younger. Giving back to the world is one way they can align their talents with the world's needs and live out their "calling."

The beginning of a new year is a typical time to reflect on our lives, so we are exploring a different area of well-being each week in our January and February columns (and our corresponding podcast episodes). This week we invite you to use the "Making It Personal" questions below to take a moment to reflect on your sense of calling or vocation and how that is impacting your overall sense of wellness right now.  

Making It Personal:

1. If someone asked you, "what do you think your calling in life is how would you answer? If you are unsure, take some time over the next few days or weeks to think about it/

2. Has your sense of how you want to give back to the world shifted over your lifetime?

3. Is there a shift you are sensing that you want to make right now, one that would help you more fully connect your "gifts and talents with the needs of the world" and help you better express your sense of calling?

4. If you are working (in whatever way you define work right now), how satisfied are you with your work/life balance?

(Today’s column is the second in an eight-part series that will explore the eight areas of wellness that are part of the Wellness Compass Model for Well-Being.)

To explore your own well-being in the eight areas of wellness, you may be interested in downloading our newest FREE resource, The Adult Wellness Compass Notebook. This workbook is perfect for either individual or group use, and is a tool for self-reflection, learning, and goal setting. Click HERE to download and enjoy.

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the connection between vocation and well-being. You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Spirituality, Awe, and Well-Being

Spirituality, Awe, and Well-Being

The word “awesome” has become so ubiquitous that it has nearly lost its meaning. Originally it referred to being “profoundly reverential,” something that inspired deep wonder and mystery. Today it has simply come to mean something that is “impressive or very good.”

If, for no other reason, one benefit of reconnecting with the original meaning of awe is that doing so is good for our health and well-being. This fact was reported in a New York Times article this week about a newly published book, “Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life” by a psychologist named Dr. Dacher Keltner. You can read the article HERE.  

Here’s a quote from the article: “In his book, Dr. Keltner writes that awe is critical to our well-being — just like joy, contentment‌ , and love. His research suggests it has tremendous health benefits that include calming down our nervous system and triggering the release of oxytocin, the “love” hormone that promotes trust and bonding.”

Dr. Keltner believes that our capacity to experience awe is something that can be cultivated. He recommends explicitly four practices: 

1. Pay attention.

2. Focus on the goodness and moral beauty of others.

3. Practice mindfulness.

4. Be willing sometimes to choose the unfamiliar path. 

Our Wellness Compass Model of well-being takes a whole-person approach to wellness that focuses on eight interconnecting dimensions of well-being. One of those eight areas is Spirituality, an area of wellness that includes the capacity to both experience and express awe. 

As with each of the eight areas of our Wellness Compass, spirituality is not something we simply have or don’t have. It is something that can be nurtured and strengthened, be it in a religious sense or not. Adopting a regular spiritual practice that connects us with a higher and transcendent dimension of life will strengthen the spiritual dimension of our lives.

We are grateful for the affirming research and suggestions Dr. Keltner offers in his new book that supports this idea. We also appreciate his practical ideas for deepening our spirituality and our capacity to experience awe.

Making It Personal:

1. When was the last time you experienced a profound sense of awe? What did you experience?

2. What do you think about the idea that experiencing awe can be cultivated? 

3. What connection do you see or feel between spirituality, awe, and your overall well-being?  

4. As the new year begins, is there anything you to kindle or rekindle the spiritual dimension of your life?

(Today’s column is the first in an eight-part series that will explore the eight areas of wellness that are part of the Wellness Compass Model for Well-Being.)

To explore your own well-being in the eight areas of wellness, you may be interested in downloading our newest FREE resource, The Adult Wellness Compass Notebook. This workbook is perfect for either individual or group use, and is a tool for self-reflection, learning, and goal setting. Click HERE to download and enjoy.

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the connection between spirituality and well-being. You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

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Changing From the Inside Out

Changing From the Inside Out

Have  you ever said, "yes" to doing something for the wrong reason? Maybe it was peer pressure, or thinking you should say "yes," or because you didn't want to disappoint someone, or even that you didn't really think through your decision before responding.

In our experience, this is what happens with many people who make New Year's resolutions. They say, “yes" to making a change for the wrong reason. Maybe they say, "yes" because it's what they think someone is supposed to do at this time of year. Or because others are encouraging them to make a resolution and you don't want to disappoint them.  Or even because they are worried about coming across as a person who isn't willing to commit to growth and self-improvement.  

In these scenarios, what is happening is that a person is making a decision from the "outside in." They are responding to an external prompt to do something rather than an internal prompt. Studies have shown that when any commitment to change, such as a a New Year's resolution, is made from the “outside in," it has a minimal chance of happening.

So our advice is that if you want to make a resolution to change—at the beginning of a new year or at any time—you do it from the "inside, out." This involves first deeply listening to what whispers you are getting from your life. Listen to your heart. Listen to your body. Listen to your spirit.

Our lives are always speaking to us, but we are not always listening. What is your life saying to you right now, and based on that, is there a change you want to work to make? Creating a resolution, something you feel strongly will create greater wellness in your life, to change from the "inside, out,” will give you a much better chance of making and sustaining the change.You are making a particular change because you genuinely want to make it, and not because you think you “should," or not because you are trying to please someone else.

Tens of thousands of people have visited https://www.wellnesscompass.org/assessments  to take our online self-assessments (adult, parent and teen versions) because they find them to be an effective tool to help them listen to their lives from the “inside out." We share them with you in the hopes that  you might find it helpful, too.

We wish each and every one of you a happy and healthy New Year.

Making It Personal:

1. What do you think of the value of creating change from the "outside in" vs. the “inside out?”

2. What helps you listen to your life, helping to revealany possible changes you want to make?

3. Is there an intention or resolution that you are considering right now?  What might your first step be in making that change?

Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the idea that change is an “inside job.” You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.

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Subscribe Now to Weekly Words of Wellness:

Click the button below to signup for the e-mail version of Weekly Words of Wellness. This weekly article can be shared with your community electronically and/or used for group discussion.

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