Muddy Resurrection

Muddy Resurrection

I live in Wisconsin, and for those of us who celebrate Easter, there is often a beautiful convergence of our Easter celebrations with the magnificence of spring bursting forth all around us. The symbolism of new life bursting forth from the dark days of winter here aligns perfectly with our celebration of Jesus' resurrection.  

This year is not quite like that though. If you have ever lived in the northern part of the US, especially in New England or the Midwest, you know that there are not just four seasons each year. There is actually a fifth season, one that comes between winter and spring and only lasts a few weeks. We call it mud season. If you could see my running shoes which are currently sitting outside my back door (because I made the mistake of stepping off the paved running path I was on earlier this week), you would know that this season is well named.

Part of what creates the massive amount of mud and messiness this time of year is the fact that after a long, cold winter the depth of the ground freeze is quite significant.  During the mud season, while the warming temperatures thaw the surface of the ground, the deeper ground remains frozen, and thus the melting water at the surface is unable to percolate down into the soil.  Until the deeper ground thaws, the water stays on the surface creating increasingly deeper levels of mud and mess.  

While most of us would probably prefer the blooming new life of Spring to coincide with our Easter celebrations, I am finding that there is unexpected wisdom in considering mud season as a metaphor for what resurrection sometimes feels like in our lives. This week we watched with grief and sadness the fire at Notre Dame Cathedral. Before the fire was even fully extinguished there emerged signs of resurrection as so many committed to fully restoring this sacred place of worship. I believe with all my heart that  new life will occur for Notre Dame, and I also believe that it will be a long messy, muddy process before fresh spring-like expressions of new life emerge.  

I think of friends who have a new baby-could there be a better example of their overwhelming celebration of this new life occurring in the midst of a lot of sleepy, bewildered, muddy, and messy times?  

I think of when I have lost someone I love and how slowly the process of grief works. There is a long, muddy season that both proceeds and accompanies the thawing and healing, and then the gradual resurgence of new life and a new kind of normal. 

There are of course times when resurrection and new life bursts forth all at once in our lives. In my experience though, it is more often a gradual process, one that includes some muddiness and messiness, no matter the change.  

The last verse of The Green Blade Rises, one of my favorite Easter hymns, beautifully describes the process of new life, resurrection, and healing. I have no doubt that the fields that serve as the host for the new wheat described in this verse also contain their share of muddiness.  

When our hearts are saddened, grieving, or in pain, 
By Your touch You call us back to life again; 
Fields of our hearts that dead and bare have been: 
Love is come again, like wheat that springs up green.

(Words by John M. C. Crum)

To all our readers that celebrate this day, we wish you a Joyous Easter, even if it be the slow, messy and muddy kind.

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Holy is as Holy Does

Holy is as Holy Does 

In a few days, Christians around the world will begin the observance of HolyWeek. Holy Week is the week preceding the celebration of Easter and ismarked by a range of sacred traditions and celebrations. Holy Week begins with Palm Sunday, continues with Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, HolySaturday, and concludes with celebrations of the Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday. Throughout history, throughout the world, and across the many expressions of Christian faith, there are countless variations of how HolyWeek is enacted, but the one common theme of all Holy Week celebrations isthat they are characterized by a wide variety of dramatic actions. Palms are blessed. Processions occur around the church, and sometimes around the neighborhood, with some even including a live donkey. The Gospel isproclaimed or sung with many joining in to portray different voices in the stories being read. Feet are washed. Bread is broken. Some of the faithful stay awake for all night prayer vigils. Hymns are sung. Flowers are arranged. Fires are lit. Trumpets are blown. Resurrection is proclaimed.

So what exactly makes Holy Week holy? There are no doubt many responses to this question, but for me, the one essential ingredient to what makes HolyWeek holy is the intentional and deep joining together of beliefs and actions. Holy is not just about what we believe, but how our beliefs become expressed in our actions. Holy is as holy does.

We can ask the same question about all aspects of our lives. What makes our work holy? What makes our relationships holy? What makes our caring for our community and our world holy? What makes our very lives holy? My answer to these questions would be similar to what I shared regarding Holy Week. When there is the intention to integrate and join our deepest faith and beliefs with our actions and behaviors, then that which we do becomes holy. When I am loving and caring to someone in need, whether a friend or stranger, I am expressing holiness in that relationship. When I seek ways to create a greater good in the world, whether through my work, or volunteer service, or some other way of giving back, I am enacting holiness in the world. When I am mindful of my own need for repentance or forgiveness and seek reconciliation with those whom I have hurt, I am both experiencing and expressing holiness in those relationships. When I take time to observe and nurture signs of new life and resurrection in the world around me, I am participating in a wholeness and a holiness that is much greater than myself.

As Christians celebrate Holy Week this week, may we all be reminded that every one of us has the opportunity celebrate holiness this week by finding ways to being more intentional about the joining together of our faith and deepest beliefs with the everyday actions of our lives.

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Serenity and Forgiveness

Serenity and Forgiveness 

 Some of the readers of this column are currently reading our Living Compass Lent booklet, "Practicing Forgiveness with All Your Heart, Soul, Strength, and Mind," as well as participating in our Facebook discussion group based on the booklet. This week we all have been reflecting on and discussing practicing forgiveness within our families. Many people have commented about how challenging it can be to practice forgiveness and to seek reconciliation with people, sometimes even in their own families, who seem to have no remorse or even no idea of how hurtful their behavior has been.

The Serenity Prayer has come up often in our discussion because it serves as the perfect reminder for us to both have the courage to seek forgiveness and reconciliation when possible, and to also accept that sometimes this will not be possible-at least for the time being. In case you are not familiar with the opening lines of the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr, they are:

"God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

I recently became aware of a modern day adaptation of this famous prayer, written by a Jesuit priest and popular author by the name of James Martin (he currently has close to 600,000 followers on Facebook). I'll close this week's column by sharing it with you in hopes that it may serve as a reminder for us to stay humble as we seek to practice forgiveness and work towards reconciliation within our families, and our other close relationships. 

"God, grant me the serenity

to accept the people I cannot change,

which is pretty much everyone,

since I'm clearly not you, God.

At least not the last time I checked.

And while you're at it, God,

please give me the courage

to change what I need to change about myself,

which is frankly a lot, since, once again,

I'm not you, which means I'm not perfect.

It's better for me to focus on changing myself

than to worry about changing other people,

who, as you'll no doubt remember me saying,

I can't change anyway.

Finally, give me the wisdom to just shut up

whenever I think that I'm clearly smarter

than everyone else in the room,

that no one knows what they're talking about except me,

or that I alone have all the answers.

Basically, God,

grant me the wisdom

to remember that I'm

not you."

Amen

(James Martin, S.J.)

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Let it Come. Let it Go. Let it Flow.

Let it Come. Let it Go. Let it Flow.

I have enjoyed watching many of the NCAA college basketball tournament games (both men's and women's) this past week, and on several occasions, I heard the announcer refer to a player who was on a hot shooting streak as being "in the zone." This meant that their shooting seemed effortless, and that just about any shot they took ended up, one way or another, going in the basket. During these moments their play seemed effortless, and their energy seemed like it was contagious as it spread to the other four players on their team as well.

    Being "in the zone" has also been described as experiencing "flow." Flow is the effortless experience people feel when they are fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus so that their thoughts and emotions are fulling channeled and aligned with the task at hand. I believe that one of the greatest draws to watching sports, and any live performance for that matter is that spectators are hoping to see an athlete, a musician, or an actor or actress perform in a state of flow. There are few things more inspiring than witnessing someone in such a state. 

    The only thing better than watching someone in a state of flow is to experience that state ourselves. Flow is not just for athletes and other performers; it is an experience that we too can have in our relationships, our work, and our daily lives. There is a certain mystical, spiritual quality to flow because it is not something that a person can make happen. The term flow is used because there is a sense that a person experiencing flow is part of a force or energy larger than themselves as if they are being carried by the flow of a river or a current of air. They feel like they are in the flow of something beyond themselves. 

    Flow is in large part an unexpected gift because it is impossible to create flow whenever we feel like it. It is possible though to maximize our chances of experiencing it by focussing on the following traits or habits. 

• Living or being entirely in the present moment, not rehashing the past, or worrying about the future. 

• Living from a place of "soul" rather than ego. 

• Detaching from the outcome of what we are doing.

• Not forcing or trying to control an outcome. 

• Fostering a lack of self-consciousness, and not taking ourselves too seriously.

• Maintaining a sense of humor. 

• Living from the "inside out," rather than the "outside in"-focusing on intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation.

• Silencing our inner judge, our inner critic. 

   The opposite of flow is distraction and constriction, which is why we use the term "choke" when an athlete, performer, or team tightens up and performs poorly in a key situation. It is impossible to experience flow when we are distracted or when other things in our lives are out of balance. In basketball, as in life, if we find ourselves distracted or choking, it is a good time to call a time-out and regroup. Resolving distractions, and then re-centering ourselves and focussing all of our attention and energy in the "now" will maximize our chances of getting back in the flow. 

   Review the traits listed above and try putting them into practice in some concrete situations in your life. Instead of being distracted, work on being fully present in a conversation with a friend or loved one, and see if you experience a different kind of flow in the conversation. Try doing a task at work or home in an entirely focussed mindful way, and see if the task feels different to you. Try a spiritual practice of prayer, meditation, walking, deep breathing, or journaling and see if you can get a glimpse of flow. 

   In the end, flow is a gift. We cannot make it happen. We can, however, practice certain habits that put us in a mindset where we are more open to receive this gift. For you and me the result may not be sinking more three-point shots, but it may result in our experiencing increased joy and meaning in our lives and our relationships.

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Gradually, Then Suddenly

Gradually, Then Suddenly

  It's been a long and brutal winter here in Wisconsin, and so the coming of spring is more welcome than usual! The temperatures have been warming gradually for a few weeks and then suddenly, just a few days ago, it became clear that winter had lost its grip, and spring was finally on its way. 

   Our Living Compass Wellness Initiative is hosting an online Facebook discussion group right now on Forgiveness (see the section below this column if you are interested in joining us) and this week I shared the image of winter gradually, then suddenly, losing its grip on those of us in the Midwest. I shared it as a metaphor for how the process of forgiveness often works. The process of forgiving, whether of our ourselves or others is similar in that at first it happens oh so gradually, even imperceptibly, that we don't even notice our change of heart. Then, just when it seems like there is not much progress being made, suddenly our inability to forgive loses its grip, and we find that we are suddenly feeling more loving toward ourselves or others.  

   All of this reminds me of a line from an Ernest Hemingway novel, one that also serves as the basis for a core principle found in the book, Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott. In Hemingway's, The Sun Also Rises, a character is asked how he happened to go bankrupt. He answers simply, "Gradually, and then suddenly." Susan Scott takes Hemingway's idea and expands it to matters other than one's financial stability, stating, "Our work, our relationships, and, in fact, our very lives succeed or fail, gradually then suddenly, one conversation at a time." 

   In our Facebook discussion group, I asked if people could think of other metaphors, in addition to the coming of spring, that capture this idea that change and growth happen gradually, then suddenly. The group shared several that warrant repeating: learning to play a musical instrument, learning to hold a yoga pose, learning to speak a new language, losing weight, a person recovering from grief, and a child first learning to walk. All of these are changes that often surprise us as they seem to have just crept up on us when in reality they have been building for some time.

   These metaphors contain wisdom that I, for one, need to remember because I often want or expect change to happen quickly. I doubt I'm alone in the fact that when I am working on a making a change, I don't start out thinking, "I'm looking for a slow, gradual, almost imperceptible change here," and yet that is precisely how the change process works. Watching the snow slowly melt and the world gradually changing from white and grey to a fantastic variety of colors is a beautiful reminder of that.

   Is there a change you are working on in your life? Is it perhaps related to forgiveness? Or some other focus of growth or letting go--be it spiritual, vocational, physical, relational, or emotional? As the season slowly, gradually changes around us, may we remember the wisdom that change always takes longer than we want or expect, and that change always happens gradually, long before it happens suddenly.

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