Remembering
A friend reminded me this week of a Memorial Day reflection I wrote four years ago that meant a great deal to him. This, along with a very full week, was just the nudge I needed to share that column once again.
As Memorial Day approaches this year, I find myself thinking a lot about the importance of remembering. I especially remember my dad, who passed away in 2011, as he was one of the fortunate few to have survived the invasion of Utah Beach on D-Day. Many of his friends died by his side that day, and I know he always painfully remembered both their friendship and their bravery on subsequent Memorial Days. He aways said it was imperative to remember those friends and the ultimate sacrifice they made.
I have also been thinking about the importance and power of remembering as I recently reconnecd with a friend I hadn’t seen or spoken with for many years. The conversation was electric as we discussed over coffee stories of experiences that we had shared, ones that are unique to our friendship, and therefore could only be shared and remembered by the two of us. The more we talked, the more we remembered, and before we knew it, two hours had passed, and yet it felt like we had just sat down.
Such is the power of remembering. Such is the power of having someone else remember something about us, and about our shared history. We are all, I’m sure, warmed by the experience of someone saying to us, “I have this wonderful memory of you, of the time when you………” To be remembered is to feel honored and cared for.
Memory is the foundation of culture and identity as well, and our enhanced capacity for memory is what separates us from all other living creatures. Identity is rooted in knowing and remembering our origin and history, whether it be that of an individual, a family, an institution, a country, or a religion. And identity and meaning are strengthened when we remember and share our stories.
This connection between memory, identity, and meaning is the reason we as a nation will once again celebrate Memorial Day this Monday. On Memorial Day, we remember and honor those who have given their lives in service to our country, and we honor the fact that our collective identity today is rooted in their sacrifice. As Nobel Laureate and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel said, “Without memory, there is no culture. Without memory, there would be no civilization, no society, no future.”
While I understand the wisdom of “living in the present moment” and of not getting “stuck in the past,” I also know that we can become “stuck in the present” when we fail to remember how much our present, our identity, and our culture are shaped by our history. Memorial Day weekend provides us with the perfect chance to balance both being in the present and respecting the past. As we enjoy time to recreate this weekend, let’s also make time to remember, honor, and give thanks for those who have gone before us, shaping our lives even today.
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