Changing From the Inside Out
Have you ever said, "yes" to doing something for the wrong reason? Maybe it was peer pressure, or thinking you should say "yes," or because you didn't want to disappoint someone, or even that you didn't really think through your decision before responding.
In our experience, this is what happens with many people who make New Year's resolutions. They say, “yes" to making a change for the wrong reason. Maybe they say, "yes" because it's what they think someone is supposed to do at this time of year. Or because others are encouraging them to make a resolution and you don't want to disappoint them. Or even because they are worried about coming across as a person who isn't willing to commit to growth and self-improvement.
In these scenarios, what is happening is that a person is making a decision from the "outside in." They are responding to an external prompt to do something rather than an internal prompt. Studies have shown that when any commitment to change, such as a a New Year's resolution, is made from the “outside in," it has a minimal chance of happening.
So our advice is that if you want to make a resolution to change—at the beginning of a new year or at any time—you do it from the "inside, out." This involves first deeply listening to what whispers you are getting from your life. Listen to your heart. Listen to your body. Listen to your spirit.
Our lives are always speaking to us, but we are not always listening. What is your life saying to you right now, and based on that, is there a change you want to work to make? Creating a resolution, something you feel strongly will create greater wellness in your life, to change from the "inside, out,” will give you a much better chance of making and sustaining the change.You are making a particular change because you genuinely want to make it, and not because you think you “should," or not because you are trying to please someone else.
Tens of thousands of people have visited https://www.wellnesscompass.org/assessments to take our online self-assessments (adult, parent and teen versions) because they find them to be an effective tool to help them listen to their lives from the “inside out." We share them with you in the hopes that you might find it helpful, too.
We wish each and every one of you a happy and healthy New Year.
Making It Personal:
What do you think of the value of creating change from the "outside in" vs. the “inside out?”
What helps you listen to your life, helping to revealany possible changes you want to make?
Is there an intention or resolution that you are considering right now? What might your first step be in making that change?
Each week Holly and Scott Stoner record the Wellness Compass Podcast. Each episode is about 15 minutes and offers a deeper dive into what appears here in the written column. In this week’s episode, they expand on the idea that change is an “inside job.” You can listen to the Wellness Compass podcast in your favorite podcast app—just search for “The Wellness Compass,” and you can listen by clicking HERE and scrolling down to this week’s episode.
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