“Holy Yes”
The Fourth Sunday of Advent
Reflection by The Rev. Mary Bea Sullivan
Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time.
-James 4:8, (The Message translation)
“My son died a year and a half ago,” the stranger on the other end of the telephone said. “And I want to inter his ashes before I have to bury my wife.” A week later Stuart walked into my office and took up residence deep in my heart.
Despite the great grief he had experienced during the last five years, he was joyful and grateful. Both of Stuart’s children had died and he was now caring for his wife, Rose, who was in the late stages of dementia. Marriage vows were being fulfilled in new ways as Stuart lovingly met Rose’s ever-increasing needs.
Whenever I mentioned my concern about the burden of caregiving on him, Stuart always responded, “This is exactly where I am meant to be.” A faith-filled peace pervaded his choice to empty himself completely in love.
Eventually, Stuart couldn’t continue alone. With no biological family to assist, his neighbors Scooter and Susie stepped in—a natural progression in their ever-deepening relationship. Years before, Scooter and Susie noticed their octogenarian neighbors were frequently alone for holidays and began including them in family gatherings. That first “holy yes” to expanding the definition of family preceded an incalculable number of others. Happiness and shared faith permeated Christmas dinners and barbecues as the two families melded into one.
Every morning at 4 a.m. Stuart would switch on his lamp, and Scooter would come over to clean and dress Rose for the day. Each evening, Scooter would return to help prepare Rose for bed. Susie cooked meals. Grandchildren provided hugs and smiles. This ecosystem of love grew as Scooter’s and Susie’s unselfish care called forth the better angels of others who were also inspired to assist.
When I complimented her on their sacrificial love, Susie affirmed the peace that pervaded their costly desire to love expansively. “We never gave it a second thought. We needed them too. They are like parents and grandparents for us.”
Responding “yes” to the Spirit is contagious—it goes viral! Mary’s “yes” to carry the Christ child precipitated Joseph’s “yes” to protect and care for them. And their “yeses” led to millions more, thus transforming the world.
Responding “yes” to the Spirit is often costly. For Mary it meant bearing the Christ Child under less-than-ideal circumstances and witnessing his crucifixion. Joseph took on the shame of Mary’s unwed pregnancy. Scooter and Susie faced increased responsibilities and reduced free time. And yet, there is peace in making a right and loving decision—and knowing that God’s kingdom comes to fruition through all of our brave, costly, and contagious “holy yeses.”
Thankfully, our yeses are not carried out alone. Emmanuel—God with us—gives us the grace not only to bear the cost, but also to experience the new life that can only come from accepting divine invitation.