Saying “No” Can Be a Spiritual Practice
Practicing Patience With Ourselves
Reflection By Scott Stoner
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is a great deal of pressure to act and feel a certain way this time of year. It is easy to get caught up in comparing our “insides” to everyone else’s “outsides,” meaning that we can sometimes feel like we are the only ones who might be struggling this holiday season. Maybe we don’t have our usual “holiday spirit” in the wake of the pandemic. Maybe we don’t feel like decorating our home this year. Maybe we don’t feel like doing things as we have always done them in the past.
Setting healthy boundaries that honor what we are feeling and what we need is one way we can practice patience with ourselves. Responding with a loving “no” can be just the act of self-care we may need. The pressure to say “yes”—to be the person we think we are supposed to be—is high, and setting healthy boundaries requires more intention, patience, and practice this time of year.
Saying “yes” to being patient with ourselves often means saying “no” to other things so that we are able to say “yes” to self-care. This is the surest way of getting more comfortable being our authentic selves in a world that is constantly trying to make us into something else.
Making It Personal: Take a moment and note any ways you feel pressured to be someone or something other than your true self right now. Is that pressure coming from within or without? How might practicing patience with yourself by saying “no” to unreasonable demands help you to be more accepting of who you are and how you feel this holiday season?
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Follow along with us this Advent season with our daily devotional and engage in discussion in our closed facebook group moderated by Robbin Brent, Carolyn Karl, Jan Kwiatowski, and Scott Stoner.
In this group, participants will have a chance to share their responses to the prompts in the daily readings, and also the chance to receive additional material for reflection.