a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” Ecclesiastes 3
Much has been written in recent years about emotional intelligence. It is now clear that the higher our “E.Q,” or emotional intelligence, the greater the satisfaction we will experience in aspects of our lives. A high degree or emotional intelligence is characterized by the ability to stay calm and centered even in the midst of a strong emotional force field around us. The following questions might be helpful as you think about the emotional dimension of your life:
- Are you handling your emotions or are they handling you?
- Are you comfortable feeling and expressions the full range of emotions: sadness, fear, anger, joy, etc?
- Do your emotions “get the best of you” causing you to say or do things you regret later?
- Are you ever concerned that you might be suffering from depression or anxiety? Would you be comfortable seeking help if you were troubled by emotions?
- Are you comfortable listening and being present to someone else who is hurting, upset or very emotional?
- In the words of the Serenity Prayer, how well are you able to “accept the things you cannot change, have the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference?”.
“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person, you may be the world.” Brandi Snyder
Our family and friends know us best. Think of the wizard in the “The Wizard of Oz.” Our family and friends see the insecure “man behind the curtain” even though we may be able to hide behind a public persona with the rest of the world.
As you think about your relationships with your spouse, significant other, children, parents, extended family, and close friends, think about the following questions:
- How transparent and authentic are you in your relationships?
- Are you comfortable being vulnerable with those to whom you are closest?
- Do you turn to others for help and support when you need it, or are you more of a “lone ranger?”
- Is there at least one person in your life that you can be fully yourself with?
- Do you have any old, unresolved wounds from your family of origin that affect the quality of your relationships today?